So from 3pm to 6pm CST the Sales team hosted the Operations team at "Happy Hour".
Since they let us pick the location, we chose a seedy hole-in-the-wall. Of course, they kicked off early and went to a "nice" bar to gear up in anticipation.
The net result?
Operations drinks alone until after 5pm, when the first members of the sales force start to stagger in.
"Now what ish it you do?" is not a question I enjoy answering even when family asks it.
"I deliver on all the dumb-assed impossible promises you guys get paid to make," is the response I settled on, followed by a playful hug which is just long enough to make the non-confident uncomfortable. If you've given one of those hugs, you know how long they are. If you've gotten one, you can be sure someone blogged about it later.
I also had the least comfortable lunch on record, when I had to break it to a co-worker that as much as I like hanging out - I'd kill someone if forced to do it longer than needed.
He informed me of discussions I'd not been privy to where my position was modified so drastically that no one would recognize it or other scenarios where I take an official demotion and pay cut just so that I can continue to keep things running from the background while appeasing the sales staff. No one thinks I'd go down like that, but there were discussions.
I also found out why my director hates me! Months ago, he asked me what, if anything, I'd change about the way we do business. At the time, my opinion mattered.
I told him that I'd establish standards for all equipment that we host and manage so that if something we are required to fix breaks, we know what it looked like before it broke.
He asked if there was anything that could actually be done.
I emailed back and sent sample documentation that showed a server could be rebuilt and restored to production status in under three hours, by an unskilled worker, if step by step instructions were provided.
I never heard back, but this email apparently effectively ended my value to this director. He was looking for an "Everything is great! Continue selling stuff!" instead of a "Let's rethink the promises we make and ensure that we can actually deliver."
I almost ALMOST gave him the link here, so that he could at least draw some humor from it. In the end I smiled, told him I'd be fine, and promised to keep him on my MSN buddy list.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Casual Jeans Thursday! Casual Jeans Thursday!
Technically, it is Casual Ripped and Frayed Jeans Because I Stopped Caring Thursday.
I'm back at work because Thursday is the giant scheduled drinkfest after work where the sales department buys round after round of drinks and then asks me why I hate them.
They could save a lot of money by just asking me whenever. I'd just refer them here.
I must remember: There is no blogging from prison. Or maybe just dial-up blogging. Either way, I'm too pretty for jail.
Also, my weekend in the middle of the week has filled my inbox with all kinds of delightfully stupid broken crap.
It looks like the main computer used for authentication internally has been offline since about an hour after I left Monday and the "customer down" issue I was working was never handed to anyone so absolutely nothing has been done about it.
The great car disaster has been averted, lending evidence to the theory that all problems can be solved by throwing cash at them. Or minions, but we were running low on minions.
Plans for today include resuming my derailed proofreading-the-internet initiative and catching up on emails that have been piling up all over.
I'll also comb the internet job boards searching with the key words "assassin", "ninja" and "pirate".
I'm hoping "assassin" pans out, as I'm too loud to be a good ninja and most pirate positions require you to have a boat, though they do offer top notch dismemberment coverage.
Let's just hope the whole boat ownership thing isn't a deal-breaker.
I don't expect much progress on the job search front either way because of the amount of non-working stuff that needs to be figured out and the number of tours scheduled for today.
"Don't tap on the glass! It angers the geeks!"
Free
Drinks
Tonight
Let it out.
They deserve harsh words.
Someone should tell them why they suck.
Technically, it is Casual Ripped and Frayed Jeans Because I Stopped Caring Thursday.
I'm back at work because Thursday is the giant scheduled drinkfest after work where the sales department buys round after round of drinks and then asks me why I hate them.
They could save a lot of money by just asking me whenever. I'd just refer them here.
I must remember: There is no blogging from prison. Or maybe just dial-up blogging. Either way, I'm too pretty for jail.
Also, my weekend in the middle of the week has filled my inbox with all kinds of delightfully stupid broken crap.
It looks like the main computer used for authentication internally has been offline since about an hour after I left Monday and the "customer down" issue I was working was never handed to anyone so absolutely nothing has been done about it.
The great car disaster has been averted, lending evidence to the theory that all problems can be solved by throwing cash at them. Or minions, but we were running low on minions.
Plans for today include resuming my derailed proofreading-the-internet initiative and catching up on emails that have been piling up all over.
I'll also comb the internet job boards searching with the key words "assassin", "ninja" and "pirate".
I'm hoping "assassin" pans out, as I'm too loud to be a good ninja and most pirate positions require you to have a boat, though they do offer top notch dismemberment coverage.
Let's just hope the whole boat ownership thing isn't a deal-breaker.
I don't expect much progress on the job search front either way because of the amount of non-working stuff that needs to be figured out and the number of tours scheduled for today.
"Don't tap on the glass! It angers the geeks!"
Free
Drinks
Tonight
Let it out.
They deserve harsh words.
Someone should tell them why they suck.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
I've spent a large part of the past week trying to decide what I want to be when I grow up.
I'll never be an astronaut, I'll never be the President, and I'll never be a ballerina. I'm getting over that.
I've been fairly blunt with recruiters and I showed up for a job interview Monday unapologetically in jeans.
Yesterday my phone rang from 8am until almost 9pm, while I only took a break to partially destroy my wife's car and attend a book fair at my daughter's school.
So today I need to gather offers, do math in my head and accept one while replacing the car.
I'm all about the multi-tasking.
I'll lay it out for public opinion.
First, there is this place: Big damn State job. They called yesterday and told me that my salary expectations are at the top end of the range. I said, "ok."
"But we try to pay in the middle of the range," they said.
"Ok," I said,"But I'd like to be paid at the top end of the range you guys posted."
"Well, I'll ask," the HR person said.
"Great! Please let them know that I'm awesome." And Shana was in the car when I said it if there is any doubt.
I also reminded them that I'm the only person on the planet who understands in exactly which ways their environment is busted.
The second option is this place: Trauma Fest.
Apparently, they have re-worked the interview process. Or they are afraid of me. I went back in with the understanding that they have done a staff "refresh" (that sounds so minty) and they seem to have cleaned that up a bunch. And the technical interview was 18 minutes including the time to walk to and from the car.
On the other hand, an insider told me that he worked 55 hours last week and took most of Friday off because stuff became busted and the team I may join got blamed.
Also, I've heard they are balking at duplicating the original rejected offer. So they worked to get me back in, the guy from "the incident", and they may offer less than the original rejected offer?
That, my friends, is messed up enough to be interesting.
In third place, only because of timing, is an old manager who wants me to meet his technical team so that I can interview them. That sounds awesome, but the company seems to move very slowly which would leave me at the current job the longest.
Door #1, Door #2, Door #3 OR do I hang out at my current job so that I can watch them turn off the lights?
Plans for today include replacing a car while brutally negotiating terms of employment.
I'll never be an astronaut, I'll never be the President, and I'll never be a ballerina. I'm getting over that.
I've been fairly blunt with recruiters and I showed up for a job interview Monday unapologetically in jeans.
Yesterday my phone rang from 8am until almost 9pm, while I only took a break to partially destroy my wife's car and attend a book fair at my daughter's school.
So today I need to gather offers, do math in my head and accept one while replacing the car.
I'm all about the multi-tasking.
I'll lay it out for public opinion.
First, there is this place: Big damn State job. They called yesterday and told me that my salary expectations are at the top end of the range. I said, "ok."
"But we try to pay in the middle of the range," they said.
"Ok," I said,"But I'd like to be paid at the top end of the range you guys posted."
"Well, I'll ask," the HR person said.
"Great! Please let them know that I'm awesome." And Shana was in the car when I said it if there is any doubt.
I also reminded them that I'm the only person on the planet who understands in exactly which ways their environment is busted.
The second option is this place: Trauma Fest.
Apparently, they have re-worked the interview process. Or they are afraid of me. I went back in with the understanding that they have done a staff "refresh" (that sounds so minty) and they seem to have cleaned that up a bunch. And the technical interview was 18 minutes including the time to walk to and from the car.
On the other hand, an insider told me that he worked 55 hours last week and took most of Friday off because stuff became busted and the team I may join got blamed.
Also, I've heard they are balking at duplicating the original rejected offer. So they worked to get me back in, the guy from "the incident", and they may offer less than the original rejected offer?
That, my friends, is messed up enough to be interesting.
In third place, only because of timing, is an old manager who wants me to meet his technical team so that I can interview them. That sounds awesome, but the company seems to move very slowly which would leave me at the current job the longest.
Door #1, Door #2, Door #3 OR do I hang out at my current job so that I can watch them turn off the lights?
Plans for today include replacing a car while brutally negotiating terms of employment.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
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w00+, my fR13ndz, &g()()d|\|!g|-|+!!!!1!!1oneoneeleven!!!!1
Monday, May 01, 2006
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OMG!
Ok. So we stopped for groceries on our way home Sunday and all was well. Until we started to leave the parking lot.
My eyes came to rest upon a Buick. Now, I'm not one to gawk often at domestic cars, but this one caught my eye. Shining in maroon glory for all the world to see was a Buick Rendezvous. An SUV sucking an astonishing gallon of $3+ gasoline every nineteen miles wrapped in a French word for a name to throw off the environmentalists. Good move, Buick. You almost slipped under the radar.
This particular maroon Buick Rendezvous was purchased at a place called Gay Pontiac Buick GMC, not that there is anything wrong with that.
The unfortunate side effect was that the back of this SUV read "Gay Rendezvous".
Holy freaking crap.
I'm not ashamed (much) to say that I shrieked like a second grade girl.
Shana agreed to circle back around so that I could take a picture (I am all about sharing, after all) so we swung back to the opposite end of the lot and I hopped out and grabbed the camera from the trunk. Shana tried to coach me in the operation of the device, but I suck at it a lot on a good day.
Today was not that day.
As we neared the vehicle and Shana slowed to a stop I leaned out with her camera to take the picture, which didn't come out so good as you can see:
What it lacks in composition and definition it makes up for in story. As I leaned out to take the picture the lights on the Rendezvous flashed and the owner (an older gentleman) walked up to open the door! He completely saw us!
As we sped away, I knew the shot was useless. However I also knew that our juvenile prank had definitely had an impact on others.
This guy who owns the Buick watched us speed out of the parking after I leaned out of a black sedan and snapped a digital picture of the back of his car.
We completely validated every paranoid delusion or fantasy this guy has ever had!
I enjoyed it enough that I hope to add evidence to the paranoid delusions of many more strangers in the months and years to come.
Also, I forever placed my blog in the results of a Google search for "Gay Rendezvous".
Plans for Monday include my big damn Microsoft software piracy meeting. I will try to spend the whole meeting talking like a pirate. "Ahoy, ye scurvy Redmond lubbers! Avast! Walk the plank ye lot of diseased software merchants! Yer screens o' death are as blue as the sea! Arrrrrr!"
It also looks like some stuff broke Friday while I was out of the office and no one bothered to look at any of it for three days. I have to call a bunch of clients and apologize about that.
I
hate
being
back at work
It makes me hostile
I think I'd like to choke someone.
:)
Ok. So we stopped for groceries on our way home Sunday and all was well. Until we started to leave the parking lot.
My eyes came to rest upon a Buick. Now, I'm not one to gawk often at domestic cars, but this one caught my eye. Shining in maroon glory for all the world to see was a Buick Rendezvous. An SUV sucking an astonishing gallon of $3+ gasoline every nineteen miles wrapped in a French word for a name to throw off the environmentalists. Good move, Buick. You almost slipped under the radar.
This particular maroon Buick Rendezvous was purchased at a place called Gay Pontiac Buick GMC, not that there is anything wrong with that.
The unfortunate side effect was that the back of this SUV read "Gay Rendezvous".
Holy freaking crap.
I'm not ashamed (much) to say that I shrieked like a second grade girl.
Shana agreed to circle back around so that I could take a picture (I am all about sharing, after all) so we swung back to the opposite end of the lot and I hopped out and grabbed the camera from the trunk. Shana tried to coach me in the operation of the device, but I suck at it a lot on a good day.
Today was not that day.
As we neared the vehicle and Shana slowed to a stop I leaned out with her camera to take the picture, which didn't come out so good as you can see:
What it lacks in composition and definition it makes up for in story. As I leaned out to take the picture the lights on the Rendezvous flashed and the owner (an older gentleman) walked up to open the door! He completely saw us!
As we sped away, I knew the shot was useless. However I also knew that our juvenile prank had definitely had an impact on others.
This guy who owns the Buick watched us speed out of the parking after I leaned out of a black sedan and snapped a digital picture of the back of his car.
We completely validated every paranoid delusion or fantasy this guy has ever had!
I enjoyed it enough that I hope to add evidence to the paranoid delusions of many more strangers in the months and years to come.
Also, I forever placed my blog in the results of a Google search for "Gay Rendezvous".
Plans for Monday include my big damn Microsoft software piracy meeting. I will try to spend the whole meeting talking like a pirate. "Ahoy, ye scurvy Redmond lubbers! Avast! Walk the plank ye lot of diseased software merchants! Yer screens o' death are as blue as the sea! Arrrrrr!"
It also looks like some stuff broke Friday while I was out of the office and no one bothered to look at any of it for three days. I have to call a bunch of clients and apologize about that.
I
hate
being
back at work
It makes me hostile
I think I'd like to choke someone.
:)
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