Sudden Life Choices

Gwynyth told me a little after 6pm yesterday that today is Carolina/Clemson day at camp. We own no paraphernalia associated with either school. Since that would instantly identify us as outsiders, we had no choice but to dash out and buy an appropriate shirt.
Shana still hadn't made it back from her full day of shooting kids at a high school, so Gwynyth and I were on our own to make this vital life choice.
One can embrace either school, or both (to an extent) but to choose neither is an impossibility in the charged atmosphere of Columbia, SC.
This is not a decision which can be reversed either. One cannot switch allegiances later. This is like a tongue piercing. You can remove the metal, but that hole is always going to potentially catch spaghetti.
Gwynyth gravitated to the standard t-shirt for the University of South Carolina. I refused.
"Why can't I have it?" she asked.
"It doesn't matter."
"Is there something wrong with it, Dad?"
"No. I just don't like it."
"It is the only one with pink letters."
"Doesn't matter."
"I like it, Dad. It's simple."
"No way."
"It just says 'Cocks'. What's wrong with that?"
At that very moment, Shana called to let me know she was leaving the high school.
She asked what we were doing, and I replied that I was trying to steer our daughter to Clemson.
Gwynyth wouldn't budge, though, even after I told her the Michael Stipe debate story I heard from Joe.
In the end, we settled on a maroon shirt (though the lady running the store corrected me by saying "garnet") with a palm tree and the phrase "Carolina Girl".
I'm not sure if that officially counts as picking a side in this great conflict. Whenever possible, I prefer to delay this kind of thing.
On the other hand, I did pick up a new shirt for Shana.