Poor Planning

You asked for it. Here is another way awesome World of Warcraft post:

I meet a lot of people when I play WoW. Most of them I'd be perfectly happy never meeting again. Those that are not complete and utter jerks make my "friends" list, and there are enough of those that the in-game list frequently fills and must be purged of people who haven't logged in in a while.
Knowing nice people is good, but not having faces to associate with names (faces other than the generic orc or elf mug) they tend to get forgotten as individuals from time to time.
These aren't the people I play with every week. Those people I know by their real-world, meat space names.
The people on my friends list are in another category. These are not "friends", they are people that annoy me less than everyone else on the server.
Anyway, a few days ago I got a message in game from someone I didn't immediately recognize. I checked my friends list and they were not on it. Since the message was more than the standard "lol fag", I guessed that at some point I had annoyed this person less than everyone else on the server and made their in-game friends list.
We chatted back and forth for a little while. I had a raid to attend and this person was running a few quests.
They were nice enough. Not nice enough to make my own friends list, but nice. Space is at a premium on that thing.
I attended my raid and went about my virtual life for a couple of days before hearing from this person again.
Then they sent me another message while I was gathering some babies from one tribe to deliver them to another (long story there, but it may have been the right thing to do) just to say hello and find out how I was doing.
Again, we chatted for a few moments before I had another raid to attend (fully 80% of my time in-game is spent in raids now, with the other 20% spent preparing for raids).
I was getting a little creeped out by now, cursor hovering over the "ignore" button on this guy. People can work their way off my friends list, but ignore is eternal.
He sent me a message while I was actually in a raid, ignoring the auto-responder which should have told him I was in the middle of something with no time to chat.
"Guess what?"
I switched Webinara over to auto-attack and (against my better judgement) responded with a "what?"
"Guess!"
Internet, I play games online. A lot, to be honest. "Guess" is not the game I pay $15 a month to play.
"Um . . . You got a flying mount?" I'll admit, I've lost touch with what lower level people do.
"No!"
"Exalted reputation with someone?"
"No! Well, kind of."
I switched targets and cursed in meat space about n00bs. "How do you get kind of Exalted?"
"I'm getting married!"
Oh no. I was completely afraid that this conversation was going to head somewhere which would make me uncomfortable. Again, I hovered over "ignore".
"Congratulations." I said. Because that is what you say.
"Not in real life. In game!"
Aw, crap. With that, this officially crossed over into a couple of areas I find weird.
"That's awesome," I lied, switching my attention back to killing a very frightening giant spider-beast.
"I want you to attend, Webinara, because you are one of the nicest people I've met."
Shit.
"I'd love to attend. Just tell me where."
The giant spider-beast died. There was cheering around me.
"I have to buy a ring first and find some Tailor who can make a tux and wedding dress."
lol fag
"That's too cool. Talk to my friends Mairick and Moatte. They can make the clothes you need." I mostly wanted to fling this attention at my real-world friends Darrell and Todd. To this day, I have no idea if either can sew an in-game wedding dress.
Side note: I miss you guys more than this story indicates.
I had hoped he'd spend some time doing that. My hopes were crushed when he sent,"I know where I want the wedding to be."
"Oh?" Webinara was concentrating on loot at this point. Of the 80% of in-game time I spend raiding, 99% of that is spent worrying over loot.
"Scarlet Monastery Cathedral."
This guy needed someone to lead the way into Scarlet Monastery Cathedral, kill all the monsters which would try oh-so-hard to end his newbish life and that of his bride, wait for the corpses to vanish, then hang out by the alter to pick off any stragglers who show up during the ceremony.
Now this is a wedding I can get into.
"That sounds lovely." I was really running out of encouraging things to say.
"I need a cake."
If everyone in my guild was not already logged onto a character I know, I would swear someone was attempting to punk me.
However, being the repository of in-game trivia, I told him about the cakes sold by one of the vendors in Dalaran.
"I'm not high enough level to get to Dalaran." He seemed so sad.
"I can mail you one," I offered, thinking it might soothe the burn of my waiting for him to log off and putting him on ignore.
"Thanks! Just bring it with you. I want you to plan the wedding."
WTF?
"I'm a horrible planner of anything," and I am,"You'd be better off hiring one of the professionals in Orgrimaar."
"I haven't seen those." he answered.
I haven't either,"Oh sure, you see them in trade chat all the time. Very reasonable rates."
"But I like you and I want you to be a part of this. Look at the ring."
He linked the ring to me. It was a [Wedding Ring]. No armor bonus, no agility buff, no attack power. Just an expression of nerd-love.
"Just let me know where to be." Webinara is a sucker for romance. And n00b jewelry.
Please remember that I still have no idea who this person is and how I might know them.
The following day I got another message. Apparently, he had assembled his guild outside the gates of Scarlet Monastery Cathedral and they were waiting for me.
I had no notice. I hadn't picked up a cake and those things show up at the vendor on a timer.
"Now?" I asked.
"Yes. We decided to elope."

/ignore
/logoff