Tuesday, April 07, 2009


Since Microsoft releases patches once a month on a Tuesday, there is a regular security meeting to go over those. They only do that on a single Tuesday each month, but the meeting here is every Tuesday, recurring until death.
The process in these non-Patch Tuesday Tuesday meetings is the same every time. We look at scan results, argue over the validity, promise to fix any straggling servers before Friday (even though the outage window is Sunday night) and then spend 45 minutes discussing how this process (the meeting process, not the patching process) is being refined.
One of the more interesting meetings concluded with the meeting organizer asking everyone if they felt like they had gotten good use of their time in attending the meeting.
This was the meeting organizer.
There could not be a more loaded question in a corporate environment without violating the code of conduct for sexual harassment.
The answer, of course, is "Yes. Time spent here in this meeting was time well-spent. Let us take the information we have freely shared and venture forth into a new age of improved I.T. functionality." I mean, that is the answer since I'm a consultant. If I were full-time I'd have answered with saliva-laced profanity.
After that meeting, we have a meeting with our management to discuss what was said in the first meeting. After that, there is a closed-door session where we go over what we said and heard and what that looks like in comparison to current corporate rumors and/or reality.
A few hours later, there is a conference call with the participants of the first meeting to discuss progress, even though any actual progress would have happened at the expense of our uptime agreements with our customers.
Then an email is sent summarizing the conference call.
I can't decide if this would be more or less funny if I were making any of it up so I'll just put a picture of John Stamos here.

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