I Can Has Start Date?

This morning I put a call in to the headhunter and requested an extension on the proposed start date.

The client wanted me onsite on the seventh and (as much as I would completely love flinging myself out the door here as soon as possible never to return) I just don't see a way to make it happen that quickly.

This puts me at the back end of a hiring cycle that is exactly two weeks long and pushes my start date (by corporate policy) to the 21st of April.

Of course, this lets me deliver my speech to the future workforce of America on the 12th and attend a book signing on the 11th. Either start date would cause me to miss both Shana's and Gwynyth's birthdays, but I get to be a little closer the longer I stay around.

This also means that the corporate headquarters of Pr3++yG33kyTh1ng Worldwide Amalgamated is relocating eastward. Our former offices and industrial testing facilities will be put on the market as soon as we can clean former disgruntled users out of the crawlspaces and find a home for the fish in the executive aquarium.

Anybody want a grouper? She's precious! Eats frozen shrimp out of your hand! In the future, I will only buy fish which keep kosher.

The total downside of the delay is that I have to maintain some semblance of concern about my current job until I can give notice. This was already starting to stretch my formidable acting prowess to its limits and I've had to peel the label off a bottle of Visine to pretend the eye drops are a prescription to reduce my "uncontrollable and involuntary eye rolling".

Anyway, I'm supposed to find out today if I can start the 21st or if it is the 7th or nothing. 

There were a number of considerations which went into this decision.

First, it is a challenging and state-of-the art installation.

I will be part of a team again instead of a lone geek faced with a wall of users.

There is little-to-no interaction with the "Where-is-my-'any'-key?" set.

I will have a well-defined set of responsibilities all within the original (kick ass) job description.

The Houston Interstate 10 construction process may not be finished in my lifetime and the commute to the new workplace is a calm half hour from anywhere local -- if traffic is backed up.

Hourly money plus benefits means they can ask me to work odd hours all they want and I'll pack a lunch and smile about it. Time and a half, my friends. Time and a half.

Time.

And.

A.

Half.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, my World of Warcraft server is on the east coast so server time will match real time for me at long last.

There is a lot of work to be done in packing up the headquarters for transportation to our new-and-improved location.

Apparently, the old-and-busted headquarters in suburban Houston will need to be fixed up a bit for sale. We will finally get to make all the upgrades we have been planning since we moved in years ago -- Just in time for someone to take advantage of the housing slump to lowball us on the asking price and enjoy all our hard work.

And by "our hard work" I mean "Shana's hard work" because I'm fleeing the state.