Friday, March 07, 2008

Mail

Email_Consultations_Ten_Sessions[1]

I've ignored the geek_AT_prettygeekything.com inbox for too long already, so I'm planning to spend a Friday post answering reader mail.

I get a ton of email at this address and it gets overwhelming. Just as with my work inbox, when the volume gets too high I just stop paying attention.

Since I can't answer all of them in a single post, I'll just pick a few at random:

Dear Geek,

Spring new collection available!
Exelent style to make your couple crazy

Swiss Models now!

Allie

Dear Allie,

What?

-G

 

Geek,

Most popular watches

Rolex Datejusts•Cartier•Hublot•Panerai•Rolex Sports Models•Chanel•Jacob & Co•Patek•Philippe•Alain Silberstein•Chopard•Jaeger•LeCoutrePorsche•Design

Mohamed

Dear Mohamed,

Thanks, but I have a watch. It has Boba Fett on it. I like it very much.

-G

 

Geek-

Click here to be enrolled in our online nursing degree!

Signed,

Online Nursing Degree

Dear Online Nursing Degree,

Hey! My Mom is a nurse! I'll bet she'd have loved to attend school online. I'm sending you her email address so you can talk school with someone like-minded.

-G

 

Geek,

Perfect solutions to have it hard as stone! Take a pack of four blue pills!

Max-Soft

Dear Max,

I liked The Matrix too, though I disagree with the recent online poll which declared it the Best Sci-fi Movie Ever. The sequels ruined it for me. Also, I can never remember which pill, red or blue, was the one Neo was supposed to take. This inability to keep pill colors straight would have killed me had I attended a State College.

Thanks,

-G

 

Geek,

Windows Vista Free Download For Geek! Click here!

Admin

Dear Admin,

I like bittorrent for my software download needs, but thank you for offering. Further, I think it only a matter of time before Microsoft is offering Vista as a free download anyway. If they don't alter the marketing to pretend it never happened.

-G

I'm starting to sense a pattern here, and it is a pattern I don't like at all.

 

Geek,

Give her some mind-blowing bedroom action!

Where the hell is my spam filter?

 

Geek,

Office 2007 Enterprise for $19!

Not worth it.

 

Geek,

Enjoy March with our meds . .

They can't all be like this.

 

Geek,

Cheap downloadable OEM software . .

As if.

 

Geek,

Unable to please your partner?

Holy crap! I've got 1200 messages about my junk! This can't be random. Who put me on a list? Shana?!?

 

Geek,

Your friends will be amazed at your thick and strong . .

No! Mental image! Stop it!

 

Geek,

Work from home and retire early . .

Argh!

 

Geek,

Upsize your man parts . .

/blogquit

 

Geek,

More power and super-size . .

/faceplantkeyboard

 

Forget it. I'm going to set up some more aggressive filters and try this again another time.

1 comment:

Darrell said...

lmao!