Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Do you maybe remember a time when you thought you were cool?
In case that ever happens again, I present this guy:

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Not only does he sport lifelike facial hair and the very latest in cutting edge in T-Shirt couture, his knife clearly reads "+9 Against Ogres".
The only place that knife would be cooler than in that image would be at a tabletop, pencil-and-paper role-playing game.
It would be even better if that game had ogres in it! And completely over-the-top incredible if that guy had taken Weapon Focus as his bonus feat at level one!
Wait again!
That is a utility knife! That means it qualifies as a simple weapon! He gets proficiency in that automatically, even if he is a spell caster (which he obviously is not)!
Figuring in a modest strength bonus given his casual hefting of the weapon displayed, I figure his total attack bonus at around +3 or (holy crap) +12 against ogres!
I hope somewhere he has a pair of ripped jeans "+8 Against the Ladies" or I doubt he ever gets to leave the house.
You know.
If he were in to leaving the house.


Andrew Moore said...

Reminds me of Tom Hanks in "Monsters and Mazes." Yikes.

Garrick said...

Whatever happened to that guy?
It was like, Bosom Buddies, Mazes and Monsters and then nothing.

Joe said...

I think he hung up his cleats after the immortal Turner & Hootch. But, in all fairness, Bachelor Party still is the pinnacle of his career.

Garrick said...

Bachelor party had someone in it besides Adrian Zmed?

Joe said...

Adrian Zmed ... Michael Dudikoff (of "American Ninja" fame) ... and the guy who played Kent in "Real Genius"!

How the Academy overlooked this boggles the mind ...

Garrick said...

Don't get me started on those hypocritical jerks in the Academy.
Snakes on a Plane got totally robbed this year.