Pr3++yG33kyTh1ng

The following post may be disturbing to more sensitive readers. If you have questions, please talk to a parent or teacher. Not a cop. Whatever you do, do not share this with a cop.
I've put off talking about this for a few weeks for some very good reasons.
First, the whole unpleasantness was almost too traumatic to relive. I hope none of you ever experiences this horror and the accompanying feeling of total helplessness.
Second, I didn't get pictures until yesterday.
We have a lot of Dell server boxes in the hallway outside my cubicle. They can't be stored because there isn't really a place and they can't be pitched because the servers will need to ride in them to Scottsdale, Arizona in a few weeks.
Piles of packing materials are annoying and sometimes, as this post will illustrate, quite terrifying.
I had been in the server room (the blue door behind me) and was meaning to visit my cubicle (out of frame to the left). I came out of the server room and, while allowing the door to close behind me, noticed that a co-worker (the same co-worker that provided the photographic documentation) had barred my progress with a block of high-density foam. This is the same foam which (loaded with server rack screws) makes a serviceable ninja throwing star.
As you can see, I was completely sealed in:



At first, I suppose it was funny. I came out of the server room, expecting to walk to my desk, only to find the way obstructed by a foam block.
Then, I remembered there was half a cup of coffee on my desk, rapidly cooling.
This improvised barricade was between me and coffee.
My, "Seriously, man. Move the freaking foam," was met with giggling and another picture:



Okay. I tried to suppress my panic and calmly examined my options. Drawing my BlackBerry, I Googled "foam bondage". The results, while possibly intriguing, were not helpful in this situation.
I tried to look at it objectively. While a Bruce Banner, Hulk Smash-type approach might work (with some slight chance of physical injury), it might also fling the foam into my cubicle. This could possibly spill my coffee into my laptop, thus ruining the coffee.
I debated with my oppressor while he continued to giggle and take pictures:



I could see a possible escape through a standing front ninja flip, but before I could launch into it I realized I was wearing backless shoes. No flip. Still trapped.
Damn.
From where I stood, I could see my coffee. There were tiny wisps of steam rising from the surface, calling to me.
I leaned back against the blue server room door and stared, hard, at the foam.
Some stuff probably happened (remember, please, that this was a few weeks ago and the trauma caused me to repress most of the incident until yesterday morning) and I escaped somehow. Witnesses say I fell to the floor and crawled out. I have no way to dispute this.
However, I have decided that I kicked off my shoes and entered into the most spectacular ninja front flip ever "just missed" by camera phone before ending the acrobatics by catching my shoes, on my feet, on the other side.
I have no way to dispute that, either.