Monday, February 05, 2007

Sunday featured one of the signs of the apocalypse. If you own stock in anything, sell now.
We were supposed to go to Katy's house to watch the Superbowl (commercials) with some friends.
Unfortunately, Gwynyth struggled all day with allergies and had to give up on leaving the house before it was time to go.
Since her allergies did not come with cable TV, I was forced to find the Superbowl (commercials) elsewhere, solo.
Shana told me that she knew that Angela and Daniel down the street were having another couple over for the game, so I decided to crash.
Angela and Daniel are from Germany. The other couple, Andrew and Morven, are from Ireland.
Since neither of those countries is Canada or France, I figured it was pretty safe.
However, in this odd conjunction of viewers I, being the only native American football viewer, became the "go to" guy for questions relating to the sport.
The only guy who showed up planning to cheer for Baltimore.
Now, when the conversation naturally shifted to Star Wars (as it seems to a lot around me) I could answer everything from Rebel recruiting practices to 'droid naming conventions to the military career of Grand Moff Jerjerrod.
Why in football sometimes the clock continues to run and sometimes it stops at the end of a play was a bit harder so I tended to just make stuff up. For instance, if the clock stops, then if the last person holding the ball played college football geographically further from Miami than the person who pushed him out.
If it continues to run then the guy running the clock is drunk or dead. Or both. Probably both.
I think I helped out the NFL.
I doubt it hurt anything anyway.
Having seen the game, I have no need of my traditional annual statements which, I feel, mask my lack of sports knowledge at work. A guy needs some response ready so he doesn't have to admit he didn't know there was a game on. If you need them, here is my list:

1. (Team A) just wanted it more.
2. Ever since they started letting people contest penalties by instant replay the game has lost its heart.
3. What about that one play? You know? The one? With the guy?
4. The refs were completely on the take, if you ask me.
5. I missed it. I was drunk and I killed a guy in a fight. Can I hide in your cube for a bit?


Andrew Moore said...

You could always go a different route and say "Ah geez, Prince was in top form! That Foo Fighters cover was badass. I just wish his set had lasted longer, like through the third quarter."

Garrick said...

Did you notice the Viagra ad when they back lit him? I'd never been so impressed with him.