H2OMG

Must . . . keep . . . focus . . . on the kittens.

So anyway, since it looks like I have a closing date on the new house and a move-in date of exactly the same day, there are arrangements to be made.

The neccessities must be lined up. I'll need a source of internets, first of all. 

I couldn't get the internets set up, since someone already has service there. I asked to have separate service set up, but they said there can be only one account per address. When that guy cancels service, I have to swoop in and pick up a modem from the cable company. They would not let me take one home "pending" the other guy leaving, even though I was on my most charming behaviour.

Since the internets have their own set of requirements, I need electricity.

Those people had no issue with my taking over the bill on the day I move in. In fact, they signed us up for gas too in spite of my total lack of knowledge as to how many appliances in the house even use that stuff. I figure if there is natural gas going to the house now, why shake stuff up asking a bunch of questions, right?

I called the cable company again, but they recognized my voice and told me the current owner hadn't shut anything off yet. I hate them already.

Water was interesting. My new address will be 116. I know this for a solid fact. I've signed so much crap with that address on it there is no question it is the place.

However, the water company doesn't have record of it existing as an address.  "Not in the system."

This means they can't get water to it, though they currently get water to it for someone right now.

They offered to set me up at 110 since 116 isn't possible. I explained that while I appreciated the offer, I would not be living at 110, my house is 116. I'm sure 110 is nice enough, and I don't want those people to go thirsty, certainly, but in the end I'm primarily concerned with the people living and surfing the internets from 116.

She flat refused to do anything for 116, since it doesn't exist. She asked if the meter might be at 110, and I wondered aloud if I was supposed to know where they kept their water meters. She said she was uncertain, but that she could switch my name to the bill for 110.

I had her search by the current owner's name and she found service on the street in question. She gloated as she told me that the service was for 110. 

"That's the one, then, but I'm putting a lot of faith in the idea that I will be able to shower at 116 by paying the bill for 110."

She asked if I'd like to check first, and I told her that I had no records she didn't have access to about the state of water distribution in the greater metropolitan Columbia, South Carolina area.

Then she asked where I would like to receive the bill.

"Where does it go now?" I asked.

"116."

"I suspect that will work," I replied. 

I have reason to believe the bill will be delivered to the right place even if the water is spraying all over some fictional address down the street.

On Wednesday morning, a coworker said that my apathy bordered on being an actual philosophical school and that I could teach my way of life professionally if I could go for five minutes without saying "meh".

He ranked it with stoicism, skepticism, and epicureanism in terms of whole-life schools of thought.

I told him I could not move forward without a suitable "-ism" of my own. 

He suggested that "plagiar-" would be nice were it not already taken.

Of course, it is only appropriate that I take that for my own and claim to have invented the word itself. 

I find it interesting that the traditional definition fits so much of what goes on here on Pr3++yG33kyTh1ng. Everything posted here is pretty much just stolen right from the online editions of the Ladies Home Journal and Sewing Savvy. 

You'd be amazed how easily "Window Dressing For Spring" can be tweaked into some rant about the Smurfs movie.

I'm going to call those internet people again and try to get service at 110.