Tuesday, March 24, 2009

I'm Not Expert

"Hey. I gotta show you something but I want you to know that I had nothing to do with it."

"Oh, crap."


"Garrick, how long have we worked together?"

"About six months, I guess."

"There are two things I've learned about working with you in that time. The first is that if you go without caffeine for any period of time we are all lucky if the workday ends with lowered productivity and not violence. The second is that nothing good ever follows you saying 'I had nothing to do with this.'"

"Thanks! It's good to know that you have such a lack of faith in projects which lack my involvement."

"Sure, but I have more faith in your ability to draw in bad luck as though it is attracted to kidney damage."

"True. But look. The vendor had no idea what was wrong with the redundancy policy on this machine. They scheduled a conference call. They have gone over every bit of the configuration and are actually telling me that what we are seeing is impossible."

"Why is there a wall of text on your screen."

"That's the configuration file. It opens in Notepad."

"I can't read it. Turn off word wrap."


"Holy crap, never mind! Turn it back on! Turn it back on!"

"Look at this part. See where the policies are listed?"


"There is this other part, though. See? There is a bunch of stuff listed under 'prolicies'."



"Is it even going to look at those?"

"Depends on the 'pocedures' built into the operating system, I guess."

"Is this what is breaking it?"



"The 'prolicies' are prolly breaking it."



"I see now why you started this conversation by telling me you had nothing to do with this."

"You do?"


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