Thursday, January 10, 2008

Stuff That Is Happening/Has Happened


Yesterday, following the loud ringing of a bell, the people who share my office area and I were given the news that our company had closed a pretty major deal.

While I can't disclose the exact amount of this deal, I can say with absolute certainty that we would have enough chairs to go around if some of that money were allocated towards seating.

In fact, I asked management if anything would be done about the the disparity between the number of asses in the office and the number of chairs.

The matter is under review.

In other news, my media player ran out of power in the middle of an audiobook. Before you rush to judgement, please be aware that I also spend plenty of time with actual "paper-style" books. Books in audible format merely allow me to use my commuting time to wedge more literature into my brain.

But anyway, the media player needed a charge. I brought it inside and plugged it into the wall charger overnight, only to discover that the power levels had not changed at all the following morning. This made me very sad.

I was forced to listen to sounds recorded onto these archaic foil disk things encased in hard clear plastic. Someday my grandchildren may ask about these things and I will claim that they were before my time. In spite of the ancient media, Carbon Leaf still rocks. It should be noted that I liked them long before I heard them played over the sound system at Office Max.

In a final recent observation, there are little TV screens in the elevators in my office building. Rather than playing re-runs of The View all day, there is a dedicated network of advertisement delivery, news, advertisements, current weather and advertisements which simulcasts to all of the elevators in this building. Someday it will do so in all of the elevators in all buildings. It features some old headlines and blurbs which make no sense because they have to edit out verbs to fit the space and half the screen is taken up with messages about getting a BlackBerry or taking a cruise.

The name of this network?

Please know that I am not kidding when I tell you the name of the network is "Captivate", presumably a semi-clever play on the fact that anyone not watching their screen in an elevator is staring at another human or having a conversation -- Both things apparently impossible in elevators.

I do not think flashing the passengers of a tiny metal box with a word which brings to mind being trapped in a small space is the wisest move to make in the world of marketing.

It does go a long way towards explaining why those elevators smell of primal fear and urine so very often.

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