Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Never Be The First To Fall Asleep


Monday night we were invited to watch 2007 go away forever with some friends.

Gwynyth was sleeping over, so we figured we would too. This was partially to avoid all the drunks on the road after dark and more to avoid being two more drunks on the road.

And to reduce our reliance on fossil fuels and protect our fragile eco-system. On that note, one of our many resolutions as a family is to reduce our carbon footprint in 2008. I've ordered us all smaller carbon shoes from Ebay. You, too, can Buy It Now for the baby seals.

So anyway, we drank and played games and drank and visited and drank and stepped outside from time to time to complain about how cold it was and how Texas should just be warmer. We also, if I remember correctly, drank.

A short time ago I established my status as "Lightweight", since I never drink and four beers in one evening has me wearing a lampshade on my head and absolutely nothing else. Drinking poorly is what I do. I've come to accept that.

Monday night I drank a few more than four beers, though only about that number if the count stops where my memory does.

And I'm also sure that I was the first one asleep.

Did anyone else play that game at summer camp where the first person asleep has their hand filled with fresh deer droppings and their nose is tickled with a feather? Or their hand is put in warm water with the idea that they will suddenly lose all bladder control (even though I've never personally seen that one work)? Or one eyebrow is shaved off and horrible things are scrawled on their foreheads with Sharpie markers?

Those pranks apparently follow us into adulthood, as it seems that shortly after I went into my 12:30am "Power Nap" some comedian (I still haven't figured out who, though I have my suspicions) removed a chunk of the front of my brain and replaced it with, I think, a hedgehog.

And that little guy spent all day yesterday flailing around in my skull looking for the exit, doing that cute little thing where he rolls up into a little ball and then stretches out to chew on the back of my forehead.

I think he found his way out around 8pm, which is good since I had no idea how to get Hedgehog Kibble to him.

Either way, well done guys. You really got me.

News for 2008, people: Be careful where you pass out. Who knew?

Aside from the incident which we have now filed under "Hedgehog 2008", we had a great time. We played Taboo (which the guys "lost" even though it was obviously rigged -- I mean how does one indicate "Denzel Washington" without using the word "Actor"? He defines the word!) and something called Buzz Word, in which we redeemed ourselves while making a token effort to be good sports about it.

As for my other resolutions, I'm still working on those -- Though I think one for 2008 should probably be "Come up with a list of resolutions before 2009 actually starts". I keep meaning to be better about this procrastination thing but there never seems to be enough time to make a real effort at it.

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