Monday, December 31, 2007

You Know What I've Never Seen?


I've seen some pretty stunning technical documentation. I've seen technical documentation that is stunning only because of the fact that it doesn't exist. I've seen countless Employee Handbooks. I've seen extremely good maps of where to flee an office in the event the coffee maker explodes.

I have never, ever, ever, seen "This Year's" holiday calendar.

I've seen 2003's in 2004 and 2005.

I've seen 2001's in 2003.

No one ever seems to have one for the current year. It is almost like people hang on to old ones to remember the good schedules or to somehow validate to anyone who will pay attention exactly how long they have been with the company.

This year, I saw 2006's and figured December 31st was a holiday.

It is not.

On Friday I overheard my manager discussing working on Monday and I immediately decided that my having heard it counted as eavesdropping. As I will not be a party to that kind of unethical behaviour I decided to completely ignore what I had learned (For instance, that today is not a holiday). Besides, he was talking really loud into a speaker phone anyway.

But then at 4pm as he glided out he stopped at the desk where I was just beginning hours 11 and 12 at work and said, "See you Monday!"

"Monday?" I asked, still feeling a little guilty about being within thirty feet of his earlier speaker phone conversation.

"Oh, yes," he nodded solemnly.

"I guess I looked at an old holiday calendar." Now that I'd been addressed directly there was no pretending.

"I guess you did," he agreed, "Is that a problem?"

"I'll be here," I answered brightly,"I just won't be doing anything."

He laughed and clapped me on the shoulder.

I laughed too, but then stopped and said, in as grave a voice as I know how to produce, "Seriously, John. I won't be doing anything."

He seemed to experience a discomfort which I suspected would hang over him all weekend and I knew I had nailed the delivery.

Anyway, the point is this: I'm at work. I'm not working. My manager knows about this and my badge still works so I have to assume that he is okay with it.

I'm going to take a nap, now.

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