Securing The I.T. Landscape

The thing is, there is a lot of landscape which needs securing. As an I.T. Security Professional, I have to consider everything.
How long should it take to log off a user for inactivity?
How complicated should their passwords be?
Is the physical security of the data established with a documented procedure?
What level of access is required to keep them from calling the Help Desk while preventing them from harming themselves or others?
As such, I'm insanely busy all day every day.
Fortunately, I also have a little time to implement my own personal brand of security smack down.
On Wednesday I noticed that my dashing long-sleeved 100% cotton oxford was the exact shade of the tile lining the walls of the entrance corridor.
I present: Instant Ninja --



Forget that! I'm ten freaking ninjas (based on stealth and skill, not mass)!
I spent a good bit of the afternoon leaning against that wall, blending in, watching people walk by and occasionally pouncing from my position of concealment to examine an odd-looking USB drive or something.
When eventually questioned, I explained about the many layers of a secure computing environment. "It's like an onion," I'd begin before being cut off and told to get back to my desk.
"Don't you know this hallway is secured by video cameras? Do you know what the security guards are saying about you right now?"
I would assume they are saying, "Holy crap! Where did that guy in the yellow shirt go! It looks like he just faded into the wall like a flaxen shadow!"
I like that. My new Ninja name is "The Flaxen Shadow"!
Also, I attended some meetings or something, but I wasn't really paying attention.