Tuesday, December 02, 2008

At Least It Is Honest

Okay, so sometimes things get a little crazy at work. I'm sure it happens everywhere.
We can't be the only company with a Procedure Manual weighing in at over 300 pages (single spaced) where people still have to call in favors to get stuff accomplished between teams, right?
That is just the way I.T. works, in my experience.
Whoever is responsible for the equipment in question has to be coerced into making it do something special for someone else or, sometimes, into making it work at all.
I don't go near network firewalls. I haven't logged in to administer one in years.
That's okay, since there is a group of people I can call if I need a port opened or closed.
According to process, I'd just open a ticket and wait, but . . . . Waiting sucks. I mean a lot.
What if it is an emergency? Like I need it done before everyone leaves for the weekend.
In that case, I have to supply the paperwork in addition to promises or threats, depending on the time of day.
Last week I had to tell someone that if a port didn't get opened so that I could apply some patches to a server, God would kill a kitten.
I further said that it was clearly spelled out as such in Leviticus, probably.
The point is that there is a lot of process around doing things at any job and then there is a lot of process around getting things done, and these processes rarely line up as anything which could be called similar in a sane universe.
This last weekend I worked on Friday, did what I was supposed to do, and got thrown under a bus by someone on another team because (my theory goes) the change I requested got put in late or wrong, so it was pretended that it never happened.
Since my call log and network log clearly refute the guy's claims, it was a really weak bus to be thrown under. Like gauze. Or tissue paper. In bus form.
But this is the way things go, and they go this way everywhere, I have to assume in order to maintain my "sanity".
This is the first job I've ever had where the motto seems to be: "*sigh* It is what it is".
I submit as further evidence an email I got from a recruiter yesterday. They were looking for someone to work here and sent it to me because recruiters don't read resumes.
Anyway, after the "skills needed" crap there was a line for "Behavior Characteristics".
Punctual? No.
Team-Player? Not listed.
Able to type 45 words a minute/lift 45 pounds? Nope.
Vaguely hygienic? Doesn't seem to be an issue.
The only "Behavior Characteristic" desired seems to be (and I'm not kidding, I printed it and hung it in my cubicle) "Comfortable with process ambiguity".
If you see that on a job listing, the translation is "the last guy ran screaming from here, be prepared to be tossed into a sea of confusion while wearing a life vest of paperwork".
If I didn't already work here, I'd probably apply.

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