I'm Not Going

I don't want to attend a "Holiday" party this evening with my consulting company.
It isn't that I don't like them, really.
There is just a tendency for people to go out of their way to be politically correct which makes me uncomfortable.
If someone wishes me a "Merry Christmas", even though I'm Jewish, I wish them one right back. Their intent was to convey a desire for my happiness related to a time of year, so I can take it as it was intended and return the gesture.
If they say "Happy Chanukkah", I appreciate their effort at knowing a little bit about me and try to reply with the appropriate well-wish.
"Happy Holidays" can go either way. Maybe they are legitimately trying to be inclusive or possibly they are being sarcastic or maybe they haven't cared enough prior to December to notice that I never get bacon at breakfast.
At that point, I'm in a place where I need to think fast on my feet. Do I mirror my response? Do I note the Santa hat and wish them a "Merry Christmas" with an extra dose for the horse they rode in on?
And if you mix a portion of needing to think fast with the alcohol at this type of gathering within the fragile dome of my metabolism, the end result is a disaster, invariably.
I get the concept that most everyone I come into contact with every day is celebrating Christmas. Even the non-Christians have picked that team for December ever since Norman Rockwell and Coca-Cola teamed up to give America an official Christmas mascot practically designed to be a decoration.
You've got a few people who will wish anyone and everyone a "Good Solstice", but I think most of those are posers, to be honest. Recycling is not a religion, in my opinion.
But anyway, I just want to go home, light some candles and watch my kid open a present.
I shouldn't feel obligated to participate in anyone else's holiday ritual.
The lights are pretty. I can see that.
Reindeer are adorable if irritable animals.
But seriously, you guys buy more copies of Streisand's Christmas album every year.
We totally even gave you the concept of a "White Christmas", with a song of the same name by Israel Isadore Beilin.
Celebrate. Please. I'm sincerely wishing you a completely merry Christmas, if that is the flavor of holiday you've picked.
My whole family will be celebrating Christmas hard core like they do every year and I'll totally be there.
I just really don't want to mix liquor with my desire to not offend anyone at a work-related social gathering.
I have trouble enough sober. Just ask the nice people in Human Resources.
They have a file.