Friday, May 02, 2008

Holy Enchiladas, Iron Man! Justin Timberlake?

Photo0048 Look at the sign that was posted on the cash register at Taco Bell! It should be noted that the Taco Bell which includes God in its mission statement has (in my expert imported opinion) the most authentic Mexican food in town.

Also, I'm a little queasy.

As a public service, it is my duty to remind everyone that the first Saturday in May is Free Comic Book Day. Please enjoy it. Embrace it. Live it.

Further, I plan to visit the local movie house to see for myself what they have done with Iron Man -- A beloved character who has been a part of my life for about as long as I can remember . . . My memory goes back to junior year in college, for the record.

I met my company's VP of Information Systems Compliance this week. I'd been warned. I'd heard that staying on her "good side" was essential to one's career longevity and that she had a tendency to "rip the throats out" of techs who had offered offense, real or imagined. Essentially, I was told to expect a rabid bear in Donna Karan (which in my forthcoming book "Surviving IT: A Pretty Person's Guide to Life Away from the Sun" is one of the 10 featured management archetypes).

Anyway, she visited the re-purposed training room (which actually shows up on the floor plan labeled "Citrix Batcave") where I've been dwelling all week and no one flinched.

She bounced in, raised a hand for attention, and announced, "Everyone! I have two important announcements!

"First, Justin Timberlake was in downtown Columbia today to visit Jessica Biel.

"Second, the project which you've been working on for months that got canceled on Tuesday? I've un-canceled it so pick up where you left off."

She closed the announcement phase of her visit with, "Ooo! Coffee!" and poured herself a mug and sat down.

Ignoring the second announcement entirely, the conversation from that point on was all about Justin Timberlake.

As a joke, one of the consultants said that my cubicle is wallpapered with posters of the man responsible for bringing "sexy back".

"True story," I acknowledged, "I tell people they are my daughter's but that is a total lie." I don't even have a cubicle.

When I got back from getting a Coke Zero (There is no Diet Coke Plus here, so as a side note my bones are beginning to curl back in on themselves) Justin-talk was still in effect.

I was asked if I believed that Justin Timberlake is this generation's Elvis. I replied that he is not. Elvis is this generation's Elvis. That title is good for life and until someone comes up with some solid evidence to the contrary, Elvis is still very much alive thank you very much.

Even this did not kill the topic. Apparently the VP is a big fan of Mr. Timberlake. At the tech table, the opinion of his musical abilities was split directly along gender lines, which was no surprise to anyone there.

It was a surprise when I chose to take the opposite opinion in order to align myself with the Executive in the room with the remark, "I'm not gay, but I would totally make out with Justin Timberlake."

Delivered with a completely straight face, this line brought me into the "inner circle". Coffee is better in the "inner circle", my friends. Just a hint of vanilla away from awesome, as a matter of fact.

Later in the day I stepped into the hallway in front of the refrigerator and startled the VP, who was getting more half and half for the coffee.

I nearly panicked when she said,"Hey! Don't sneak up on people! What are you, some kind of 'Tech Ninja'?"

While I don't think this blog is on the "must read" list in the Executive Wing, I have no doubt now it turned up in the background check.

I spent all day Friday reviewing the latest security scans against our latest test deployment. I'm not sure a server that would pass all the parts of a full Department of Defense audit on all counts could actually have ever been removed from the box and plugged in, but I think we did okay.

Next week I have over twenty hours of meetings scheduled. And I don't mind.

Record the date: I've deactivated my Monster resume for the first time in ten years.

1 comment:

Darrell said...

Sorry I'm catching up on old post... So you mean your actually NOT looking for another job yet?