I'm Anticipating A Stunning Failure

But I'll be trying anyway. At the very least, being in IM contact with an actual, real-live user should cure me of the odd delusion that I miss them in some way.
I'll be on IM tomorrow afternoon and trolling self-help message boards for as little time as it takes to find an issue and resolve it for free.
The rest of the day I'll spend trying to figure out how to write my time off as a charitable contribution.

There were two meetings this morning and I skipped 50% of them in favor of doing actual work. In the one I did attend I "accidentally" referred to the Proactive Team (of which I am a member) as the "Inactive Team" due to our constant, action-free discussions. The remark was met with laughter.
I followed up with the standard,"Thank you, thank you. Don't forget to tip your waitstaff. I'll be here all week."
To which my manager replied,"Don't count on it."
There was even more laughter following that, and we went on discussing stuff I get the feeling we all care less and less about as the project drags along.
Our team was held after the meeting for another discussion about how we should be more careful in the descriptions we use on the task list, since just about everything reads as vague to the Project Review Team.
Yes, the Proactive Team (which is different than the Reactive Team) is subject to review by an external Project Review Team. All three teams print out the daily status update every morning before attending a meeting where we read portions of it to one another.
This is all fine. No one seems to care that the company is paying a room full of hourly consultants to participate in the technical equivalent to a coffee house poetry reading minus the scones.
Except that this morning there were scones left over in the room by the overnight audit team.
I did not choose to eat the scones, though they looked fluffy and delicious and seemed to be packed with (possibly) cinnamon.
No. I have to draw the line somewhere and that line . . . is at scones.
I could not make this stuff up and one time I wrote a 50,000 word novel about giant robots made out of trash.