Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Team Lunch

After a couple of days of troubleshooting, the current issues impacting our production environment are not solved. However, I have managed to prove that the issues are not related to anything I did, and that is quite a bit more important than an actual resolution anyway.
Calendars aligned across the group this afternoon to allow for a brief "Team Lunch" in the cafeteria downstairs. We grabbed a large table and began discussing work issues.
The conversation naturally evolved into one about who is gay in the entertainment industry and, more importantly, how we felt about it when we found out.
Of course, a table full of manly I.T. guys surrounded by a sea of non-I.T. people tends to draw attention anyway.
I wonder if any of us will be reported for the near-constant exclamations of,"Holy crap! I know, right? . . . Not that there is anything wrong with that!"
I think the "Not that there is anything wrong with that!" should cover us in the event HR tries to crack down on us for creating a hostile cafeteria environment.
Neil Patrick Harris? Seriously? Doogie Howser, M.D.? I, for one, was astounded.

Rob Halford? From Judas Priest? Who saw that coming?

Certainly not this little metal fan.
George Michael managed to surprise no one at the table no matter how old they were when Wham!: Make It Big was splattering singles all over the Top 40.

Um. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

In other news, I had a closed-door meeting with my manager this morning. He told me that HR wants a copy of my job description to place in my file. Further, he'd like me to write it and give it to him by close of business on Thursday.
I blinked.
I nodded.
I was incapable of speech, as all of my brain function was running through the absolutely astounding potential for abuse which had just been handed to me as an action item.
Only after I had left and closed the door behind me could I mutter,"You're ****ing kidding me, right?"
No one answered.
Do you know what this means?
By the end of the week, I could be "extracting genetic material from pre-historic resin to create living dinosaurs". I could be "in charge of Death Star turbolaser operations". I could, in theory, spend my days "plying the waterways of the southern colonies in search of rum-laden merchant vessels ripe for plunder". As far as anyone knows, I may very well be "Chief Executive MP3 Server Administrator".
In fact, given that my only concrete instruction so far is "write your job description", chances are I do all of those things.
And probably "re-order the fundamental laws of space and time to eliminate user issues before the users themselves are even born".

1 comment:

Andrew Moore said...

"Diet Coke intake technician"

Srsly ... I dare you to put "being pretty" in your job description.