Friday, May 29, 2009

Anyone Want to Hear More About my Pipes?

Yesterday the plumber and I discovered that the too-horizontal drain pipe connected to another completely horizontal pipe behind the wall.
He decided to drill straight down into the floor of the cabinet and run a new drain line. This took several hours more than anyone anticipated.
However, the dishwasher empties itself of water after running and the icemaker no longer drips waste water onto the kitchen floor.
Also, he told me that when he opened the door to the crawlspace he needed to immediately smash and kill two brown recluse spiders just inside the door, then another about halfway to the sink (ten feet away) and another two nesting among the drain hardware under the house.
He told me he turned down a job on Wednesday due to these spiders which actually had fewer of them than we do.
While I'm happy the sink again works and the appliances no longer randomly flood our kitchen, I'm a little concerned about this poisonous spider issue. And by "a little" I mean "almost unable to go into the house because the door is fifteen feet from the crawlspace opening".
We have two possible courses of action:

1. Put on elbow-length rubber gloves, use a smoke-blower to put the spiders near the opening to sleep, then activate bug bomb foggers and hurl them like grenades under the house.

2. The same thing, but replace bug foggers with partially depleted uranium, thus counteracting the effect of a rotting spider bite with the side-effect of superpowers.

Or, I guess, we could move. But that seems like such a waste, what with our sink now working and everything.
I'm going to check for radioactive materials on Ebay. And, um, you know, work.


Joe said...

I'd move.

And the sad thing is I'm a little bit serious ...

Garrick said...

If he'd said "there are a bunch of clowns living under your house and I had to kill a couple to get to your pipes" I'd already be gone.