Wednesday, March 15, 2006

On Wednesday I got more details about the whole badge throwing incident. Here is how it went down:

On Monday night my boss (we'll call him "Steve") went for drinks after work with a salesperson (whom we will refer to as "Brandon") to discuss issues relating to (name deleted to maintain compliance with the non-disclosure agreement). Yes, my friends, THAT (name deleted to maintain compliance with the non-disclosure agreement).
They came to the agreement that the demands put on our technical team by (name deleted to maintain compliance with the non-disclosure agreement) were reasonable, but impossible to meet in the short term due to staffing issues. "Steve" insisted that his team was awesome but buried and that with the right additions and some direction all would be made well, and "Brandon" agreed.
Then the Tuesday meeting happened.
"Brandon" ranted about the incompetence of "Steve's" whole Windows team! While the team wasn't there to defend itself! Or even throw wadded paper!
Wait a minute . . . The whole Windows team is ME! That BASTARD!
Ok. So "Steve", seeing the ridiculousness of this attempt to place blame on me for stuff I can really officially have nothing to do with, announces his changing career plan by bouncing his badge into the wall off "Brandon's" face. Holy crap!
And again, my respect level ratchets up. It hit the wall pretty hard. I haven't seen "Brandon" since this happened (I avoid the sales staff like they have some kind of disease) but I'll bet he is relying on phone work for a little while. "Don't look at me, children! Avert your gaze!"
Other awesomeness from Wednesday included the announcement of my counterpart on the networking team. He quit. Not loudly or violently, but definitively.
Soon after that, I was pelted by over a hundred wadded balls of paper from the level one support team. It looked like it was snowing.
The natural response would have been to delete their accounts and mailboxes, but I was really asking for it. Someday they will pay. Oh yes. Someday they will ALL pay.
Today I will most likely be forced into another time-waster downtown to guess at the requirements of something vague I've been sold into doing. I've also got half a dozen time-consuming but completely boring activities with deadlines attached to them. It would be better if I had access to the deadlines, but I'm done complaining for today. Yep. I'm all complained out.
Step one: I will assume that the deadline for everything is so far into the future that I haven't been notified yet. Maybe my Outlook calendar doesn't display 5 digit years or something.
Step two: Until someone sorts it out I'll concentrate on my side-projects - verifying throughput on the corporate firewall and (if time permits) proofreading the entire internet. Someone has to do it.
Step three: Translate Henry V into leet speak: Act 4, Scene 3
K1|\|6 H3NrY V \/\/h@+'5 h3 +|-|@+ \/\/!$|-|3$ $0?
|\/|y C0u$1|\| W3$+m0R3l@nD? |\|0, My F@1R C0u$!n:
1f \/\/3 @r3 m@Rk'd +0 d13, \/\/3 @r3 n0w
+0 d0 0uR c0u|\|+rY 70$$; @nD 1f +0 L1\/3,
+|-|3 F3\/\/3r m3n, +h3 gr3@+3r $h@r3 0f h0n0Ur.
60d'$ w1ll! ! pr@y +h33, w1$h n0+ 0n3 m@n m0r3.
By J0\/3, 1 @m n0+ c0\/3+0u$ f0r 60!d,
|\|0r c@r3 ! \/\/h0 d0+|-| f33d up0n |\/|y c0$+;
1+ y3@rn$ |\/|3 n0+ !f |\/|3n |\/|y 6@rm3n+$ w3@r;
$uCh 0u+\/\/@rD +h1n6$ d\/\/3ll n0+ 1n my d3$!r3$:
Bu+ !f 1+ b3 @ s1n +o c0\/3+ h0n0ur,
! @m +h3 m0$+ 0ff3nd1ng $0ul @l1\/3.
|\|0, f@!+h, |\/|y c0z, w1$h n0+ @ m@n fr0|\/| 3n6l@nd:
G0d'$ p3@c3! ! w0uld |\|0+ l0$3 $0 gr3@+ @n h0|\|0ur
A$ 0n3 M@N |\/|0R3, m3+h!nk$, \/\/0uld $h@r3 fr0|\/| |\/|3
F0r +h3 b3$+ h0p3 1 h@\/3. O, d0 n0+ \/\/1$h 0|\|3 m0r3!
R@th3r pr0cl@1|\/| 1+, \/\/3$+|\/|0r3l@nd, +hr0u6h |\/|y h0$+,
Th@+ h3 \/\/h1ch h@+h n0 $+0|\/|@ch +0 +h1$ f1gh+,
L3+ h1m d3p@r+; h!$ p@55p0r+ $h@ll b3 m@d3
@nd cR0\/\/n5 f0r c0|\|v0y pu+ 1n+0 h1$ pur$3:
\/\/3 \/\/0uld n0+ d13 1n +h@+ |\/|@n'$ c0|\/|p@|\|y
+h@+ f3@r$ h1$ f3ll0\/\/$h1p +0 d!3 w!+h u$.
Th1$ d@y 1$ c@ll3d t3h f3@$+ 0f Cr1$p!@n:
|-|3 +h@+ 0u+L1\/3$ +h1$ D@y, @nd c0M3$ S@f3 |-|0m3,
\/\/1LL $+@nd @ +1p-+03 \/\/h3n teh D@y 1z N@/\/\3d,
@nd r0uz3 h1|\/| @+ +h3 n@|\/|3 0f Cr1$p!@n.
h3 +h@= $h@LL 7!\/3 +h1$ D@y, @nd $33 0ld @63,
\/\/1ll Y3@rly 0N +h3 \/1G1L f3@5+ h15 n31gHb0ur$,
@nd $@y 'T0-|\/|0rr0\/\/ 1z $@1n+ Cr1$p!@n:'
Th3n \/\/1ll h3 $+r1p h1$ $l33v3 @nd sh0\/\/ h1$ $c@rz.
@nd 5@y '+h3$3 \/\/0und$ ! h@d 0n Cr1$p!n's d@y.'
0ld m3|\| f0r63+: y3+ @ll $h@ll b3 f0rg0+,
Bu+ h3'll r3m3mb3r w1+h @d\/@nt@g3$
Wh@+ f3@+$ h3 d1d +h@+ d@y: +h3n $h@ll 0ur |\|@m3z.
F@|\/|!l!@r 1|\| h1$ m0u+h @z h0u$eh0ld \/\/0rdz
H@rry +3h k1n6, B3df0rd @nd 3x3+3r,
\/\/@r\/\/1ck @|\|d T@lb0+, $@l1$bury @nd 6l0uc3$+3r,
B3 1n +h31r fl0\/\/1n6 cupz fr3$hly r3m3mb3r'd.
Th1$ $+0ry $h@ll teh g00d m@n t3@ch h1z $0n;
@nd Cr1$p!n Cr1$p!@n $h@ll n3'3r g0 by,
Fr0|\/| +h1$ d@y +0 +h3 3nd1ng 0f teh \/\/0rld,
Bu+ \/\/3 1n 1+ $h@ll b3 r3m3mb3r'd;
\/\/3 f3\/\/, \/\/3 h@ppy f3\/\/, \/\/3 b@nd 0f br0+h3rz;
F0r h3 +0-d@y +h@+ $h3dz h1z bl00d \/\/1+h m3
$h@ll b3 |\/|y br0+h3r; b3 h3 n3'3r $0 v1l3,
Th1$ d@y $h@ll g3n+l3 h1z c0nd1t10n:
@nd g3n+l3m3n 1n 3ngl@nd n0\/\/ @-b3d
$h@ll +h1nk +h3m$3l\/3z Accur$3d +h3y \/\/3r3 n0+ h3r3,
@nd h0ld +h31r |\/|@nh00dz ch3@p \/\/h1l3$ Any $p3@k$
Th@+ f0u6h+ w1+h u$ up0n $@1|\|+ Cr1$p!n'z d@y.


No comments: