Pr3++yG33kyTh1ng

Today I'm wearing a tie.
Sometimes I like to do that when I have no interview after work just to freak out management.
This morning there was enough stuff on fire that I got to hang out for a bit with the overnight guy while we tried to fix or cover up the mess.
In the end, there was more of the latter. This was followed by a discussion about one of our "Account Managers" and the looming re-organization which places him as a peripheral part of the Operations side. I've decided that having him on the technical side lowers our technical proficiency, as an organization. Of course, I'd earlier decided that having him grouped even loosely into the category labeled "people" is bad for the species.
After a brief discussion this morning, we opted to re-organize him entirely out of the animal kingdom to be safe. My personal vote was to place him in the same group as a kind of drippy drywall fungus which lowers the value of its surroundings and leaves everything it touches with a strange smell that doesn't wash off with conventional soap.
The overnight guy seemed a bit shocked for some reason. "What's so wrong with (asshat's name deleted to comply with non-disclosure agreement)?"
"You mean besides feline herpes?"
After that I listened to an uncomfortable phone conversation (or half of one, no speakerphone) where the overnight guy was talking to a "friend" and I could tell (though I try to not get involved in the personal lives of my co-workers - Go Team iPod!) that there was a history there. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic.
And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.
Of course, I was relieved when that conversation ended, but then he felt the need to explain the situation (no job interview analogy) and it proceeded to become less and less comfortable until I was actually relieved that a client called wanting me to do something.

H41Ku time:

3y3 4m l33t h4x0r
j0! 3y3 4m t4lking t0 j00!
fux0red 5cr1pt k1dd13.

To conclude, my list of accomplishments for the workday today will probably have "Added 'asshat' to my Blogspot spell check dictionary" somewhere near the top.