Pr3++yG33kyTh1ng

Tuesday, March 21 2006

Longest . . . . week . . . . ever.
Since my last half dozen "listen to how crappy my day was" posts failed to trigger the falling balloons and fabulous cash prizes associated with being the one billionth "listen to how crappy my day was" blog entry, I'll try to keep the whining to a minimum.
Who am I kidding?
Listen to how crappy my day was:

In addition to driving downtown to complete a security evaluation and parking at my own cost, I got to spend 8+ hours working on the hugely unmanageable mail archive system of (company name deleted to comply with non-disclosure agreement). You will be relieved to know, all of the spam has been archived and backed up at least twice now. I know I'll sleep easier. Unless I get a call from work. Which seems to happen with increasing frequency.
The one process I can say that works smoothly at this company is that of moving my personal cellphone number from Human Resources and the interview process out onto the company intranet for anyone and everyone to use just whenever.
They didn't even need my authorization. Too slick.
Even leaving my phone on 'silent' is only a short-term fix, as the escalation number is my home number, which can't be silenced without missing actual calls we might care about.
Anyway, today I'll be trying to repair the HORRIBLE architectural mistakes made in the systems of (company name deleted to comply with non-disclosure agreement). All under cover of darkness.
Yesterday someone again spoke the name of he who should not be named to the client. I've taken on the role of "tech ninja", tossing eggshell powder grenades and fighting for continued functionality. In order to further mask my actions I renamed my laptop from the naming convention based on my username to "PRNSRV01".
Look! I'll waste more time:

A Midsummer Night's Dream
Act 1, Scene 1

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@6a1n$+ mY C|-|1Ld, /\/\y D@u6h+3r |-|3rM1@.
$+@nd F0r+|-|, D3m3tR1u$. /\/\y n013L3 70rD,
Th1$ m@|\| h@+h mY c0n$3n+ +0 m@rRy |-|3r.
$+@nd F0r+|-|, Ly$@|\|D3r: @|\|d /\/\Y 6r@c10u$ dUk3,
+h1$ m@|\| |-|@+h 133\/\/1+Ch'd teh b0$0m 0F /\/\Y c|-|1Ld;
+|-|0u, +|-|0u, Ly$@|\|D3r, +|-|0u |-|@$+ 61\/3n |-|3r r|-|y/\/\3$,
@nD !n+3rCh@n63D l0\/3-+0k3n$ \/\/1+|-| /\/\y c|-|1Ld:
+|-|0u |-|@$t bY /\/\o0|\|L16|-|+ @+ |-|3r \/\/1|\|d0\/\/ $u|\|6,
\/\/1+h F316n|\|1|\|6 \/01c3 \/3r$3$ 0f f316|\|1|\|g l0\/3,
@|\|d $+0L3|\| +h3 1/\/\Pr3$$10n 0f |-|3r f@n+@$y
W1+h br@c3l3+5 0f t|-|y |-|@1r, r1n65, 6@\/\/d$, c0nc3!+$,
Kn@x, +r1fl3$, n0$3g@y$, $\/\/33tm3@+S, m3553ng3r5
0f $+r0n6 pr3\/@1lm3n+ 1n unh@rd3n'd y0u+h:
W1+h cunn!ng h@5t +h0u f1lc|-|'d mY d@u6h+3r'5 h3@r+,
TuRn'D h3r 0b3d13nc3, w|-|1c|-| 15 du3 +0 m3,
T0 s+ubb0rn h@r5hn3$$: @nd, mY gr@c10u5 duk3,
B3 1+ 5o 5h3; w1ll n0+ h3r3 b3f0r3 y0uR gR@c3
C0n$3n+ +0 m@rry w1+h D3m3tR1u$,
! b3g teh @nc13n+ pr1v1L3g3 0f @+h3n5,
@s 5h3 1$ m1n3, ! m@y d15p053 0f h3r:
Wh1ch 5hAll b3 31th3r +0 +h1$ g3ntl3m@n
0r 2 h3r d3@+h, @cc0rd1n6 2 0uR l@\/\/
Imm3d1@+3ly pr0\/1d3d 1n +h@+ c@53.

The rest of the day will be spent trying to avoid being called about desktop issues. If I work hard enough at making the users feel inferior, maybe they will stop calling me.

I can always dream.