Pr3++yG33kyTh1ng

After six months, I've finally gotten a job description.
Ok, I'm going to re-set the scene for anyone picking this up with this post.
In late October I completed my third interview with the Chief Operations Officer by asking the series of questions I've learned to ask:

"Will I be the only resource for anything?"
Answer: "We have a full staff."
"Will I be doing actual project work or is there a lot of fire fighting?"
Answer: "You'll be doing project work. The environment is well documented and stable."
"Is there an on-call schedule?"
Answer: "Not really. We haven't needed a schedule."

Fast forward six months, and I'm the ONLY guy supporting 150+ enterprise clients as the Microsoft, Terminal Services, Exchange and Information Security roles through daily triage fire-fighting from 6am until 6am as the only person ever called. "No On-Call schedule?" I get it! Heheh! You got me! Good one!
And then the dark days of my disgruntlement began. I offered up friends to join the team. No one was hired.
On the plus side, I haven't lost friends.
Deadlines were missed. Communications dropped. Work continued to pile up until I began to doubt my own competance. Still, no one was hired to join the team.
I made a comment about the lack of certifications on the "Wall of Certifications" that belonged to people still employed there. After a slight struggle, my own certifications joined the wall as the ONLY Microsoft, Citrix and Security certifications in the building. I'd been planning to leave before dragging mine in from home, but I was too slow.
And then hiring started.
My manager has hired two members of the Microsoft team from his old job to help out. They start today.
And I'm off the team. Just like that. Which means that 100% of the original staff is completely shut out. The guys are bitter. I don't blame me.
So Friday night around midnight I get a text message on my phone. I pay for these.

Message From (Name of OpenView Guy at my Job Deleted to Comply with Non-Disclosure Agreement): So R U not taking teh job N florida?

I respond: No. They wanted a master on a padawan's salary. Also, real estate prices suck.

A few minutes later -

Message From (Name of OpenView Guy at my Job Deleted to Comply with Non-Disclosure Agreement): Do0d we need U 2 do openview. U interested?

Obviously, (Name of OpenView Guy at my Job Deleted to Comply with Non-Disclosure Agreement) is out drinking with our boss. They have hit upon a plan. A bad plan. An alcohol influenced plan. But a plan.

I respond: Sure. I gotta do something. I'm shut out on the Microsoft side.

Message From (Name of OpenView Guy at my Job Deleted to Comply with Non-Disclosure Agreement): Cool. U may want to take 10 to 7 shift. U can start working w me on mon.

I respond: w00+

So my new role is on the OpenView side, working on our broken monitoring solution. It runs on Linux. Still, my certifications are the only currently valid Microsoft certifications in the building. I'll also be working until 7pm every day.
I know nothing about OpenView, and even if I did working on the same thing everyday will bore me so quickly I'll be breaking stuff for fun by the end of the week.

EXCEPT that this week sometime the sales people are attempting to schedule an after-work mixer with the technical staff so that we can better get to know one another. That should be interesting enough to amuse all of us for a few days.

So lets look at the math:

Me + Crappy job role where I'm way overpriced and underqualified + Probable new "late" shift schedule + Room full of sales people + alcohol, paid for by the company = Blog material for days.

Sober, I'm not the most gentle when I tell people how much I hate them. In this case they are offering me booze and asking why they sense hostility. I only hope I remember enough to report back.

I worked on a downed database on Saturday from about noon until after seven. I'm not really allowed to talk about it.
On Sunday I turned off my cell phone and turned it back on long enough to notice that work had left a few messages. I did not call them back before turning my phone off again.
Of course, I found out this morning that I missed an important non-work call through not being able to use my own cell phone. Nice.

Today I plan to hit the job boards as much as possible while coasting through my new role. I'll update this page when I know more.