Pr3++yG33kyTh1ng

Skipped my Tuesday Haiku of geeky bitterness:

My job description
does not include fixing your crap.
Just stop calling me.

I don't know what broke.
The system is acting odd.
Why no change control?

Your computer's slow?
I think I see the problem.
Spyware fills your drives.

Today I may actually find out why I'm here.
I mean, I know why I'm here. I've posted about my mercenary motivations and my addiction to living indoors.
What I mean is I may get an official job description today. This is becoming increasingly important as staff keeps rolling in. My manager has been aggressively hiring people away from his last company. Since we will have similar job roles, we will need a better definition so toes remain unstepped on and feelings go unbruised. I'm delicate. And afraid of the actual definition of why I'm here. Could be I'm actually supposed to carry back up tapes from the back of the building to the front. Perhaps I'm supposed to physically rack equipment and work a forklift.
Maybe I'm supposed to answer the phones and talk to users.
That would be bad for a number of reasons.
First, that isn't why I came to work here. None of that stuff fits anywhere on my resume and I'm not making room for it.
Second, since I was hired to do something much more awesome, I'm overpaid for any of that. Overpaid is not a long term place to be in I.T. Although it is fun.
I think this concern is why the job descriptions (promised in February) are taking so long to formulate. I've been placed on technical 'light duty' un-officially since the whole (company name deleted to comply with non-disclosure agreement) thing.
Officially I "Dropped the ball and failed to come through technically."
In reality, sales never communicated to me the promises made and deadlines established - so I had other things to do. That sales guy still hasn't admitted fault and I overheard him blaming me again yesterday. No admission at all that I've been doing the work since then by using an alias. About the best I can hope for is that I'll be able to quit before he has to file assault charges. I'd have fun locking his account but he would just come to me to unlock it.
Today, to relieve stress I'll be repeating a prank from past jobs. It may be un-original at this point, but I still enjoy it.
I've renamed my laptop "LinksysWAP54g" and plugged it into the secure network.
This makes my machine look like an unsecured wireless hub granting access to anyone walking by or driving by on the freeway. There should be a lot of yelling and frantic searching. The hardest part will be keeping a straight face.