Pr3++yG33kyTh1ng

Dear Mom,

You'll never believe this! Camp sucks!
The camp counselors are nothing but bullies and they insist on letting us "work out our differences" through unarmed combat in a makeshift arena. Or geek trivia. I've never even SEEN the new Battlestar Galactica! Those questions aren't fair!
Plus, I spend eight hours a day making low-quality plastic wallets that no one will ever use! What a waste of time! There is a difference between activity and progress, mother. Why does no one here know that?
Today, while I was making one of my last wallets, a camper from Camp Awanasellanything came into our tent and started complaining about the quality of our macrame pot holders. We don't even MAKE freaking macrame pot holders! But somehow, this camper from Camp Awanasellanything promised that we would deliver them by tomorrow, for about 11 cents.
How can he do that? I offered to take him upriver on a canoe trip by way of thanks, as long as he waited until I'd finished filling a sock with dimes, in accordance with camp rules.
Anyway, I have to wrap this up so I can get back to tying tiny knots all night.
Can I come home early if I "accidentally" fall and break my own legs?
Next summer I'd like to go to Ninja Camp.

Much Love,

Camper #28453 Camp Whyamihere