Pr3++yG33kyTh1ng

Last night I can only assume my subconscious was trying to scare me.
I normally don't remember dreams, but last night I dreamed about participating in a public debate. Knowing that public speaking easily beats out death as the #1 fear people have (just not personally I phobia I have) I'm a little offended that my subconscious would try that and not, say . . . spiders? A dream where I'm covered in spiders would be much freakier for me. I thought the subconscious was supposed to know everything about what gets to me and on some level even why it gets to me.
My subconscious totally phoned in a canned nightmare.
C'mon, subconscious! You can do better than that, little fella!
Remember when I was little and you used to give me nightmares that were really scary?
Did you know (of course you do) that one of those still makes me shudder even as an "adult" when I see a certain fast food character?
You've got potential, subconscious. You used to be much, much more frightening.
Here's the plan:

I'm going to Netflix some scary movies, you know, to kind of kick start your creative process. Then, I'll have a bunch of sugar-free candy just before bed to make it a little easier for you.

This is a one-time offer, subconscious. If you miss your shot I'll have to seriously consider replacing you with a magic eight ball.