Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Yesterday I spent about eight hours combing the HP message forums looking for scripted solutions to problems that should just be fixed by clicking something a second time or even just creating a policy. If we don't want the help desk people to click the "acknowledge" button then is time better spent training them to use other mechanisms or developing a complicated application modification to hide that button, which (in my opinion) does nothing but encourage the user to find new ways to slack?
Since I started in this role, it seems my function has been to automate several routine maintenance tasks. I'm no Luddite technology hater, but I'd rather spend five minutes a week deleting temporary files from a server than spend forty hours developing a script that compares file modified date, greps for content duplication, and then off-loads and deletes temporary files once per week. Do we need an automated script for something that can be determined with a mouse-over?
Is the net gain more time to drink at lunch and something cool to post on internet forums?
The best part for me was writing the text for the confirmation email it sends:

"Dear Lazy People,
Since I'm obviously the only one who does anything around here, I have completed the file deletion for you. Not like you had anything better to do.
If there is anything else I can do to make your lives easier, please write it into my code.

Asleep again,

The Script"

In the event of an error, it emails:

"Oh, crap.
Something screwed up but I'm not paid enough to care. You might want to look at it.


The Script"

I'm a little sad at what little it takes to amuse me these days. Sad, and a little bit giggly.

Plans for today include more message forum hunting for "time saving" solutions to imaginary problems and trying (desperately) to either contract some illness or find something pressing enough for me to skip the operations meeting on Friday. That's right. I'm dreading meetings 48+ hours in advance, now.
You know what would be an awesome scripted solution? A program that (at system log on) accesses, logs in using stored credentials, edits my resume by moving the last word of the title to the front and then logs back out of the site. I'm pretty tired of doing that myself 4+ times a week for the same crappy, not-enough-money job offers.
Right now I'm fending off depression with a venti Breakfast Blend. It may not sound like much, but I'll use whatever I've got at this point.

1 comment:

Pamela Moore said...

When I feel down about my day job, I like to skip a day and drag Andrew down to the nude beach. Great stress reliever.