Monday, March 12, 2007

I've mentioned them before, but I have to repeat:

If you haven't tried the Starbucks Cinnamon Dolce Latte -- DON'T!
They are highly addictive and a core element of the corporation's latest plot of global domination.
I have tried them, and tried to resist them since. Even my iron will crumbles at the sign of an open Starbucks drive through. Friends, do not fall into their trap.
I've come to realize that this could easily become a $30 per week investment in Starbucks, with no return on my investment save for my own sanity (such as it is).
I have even accidentally contributed to it in more serious ways. Once, after I had apologetically completed ordering a "quad-shot, venti, breve, sugar-free cinnamon dolce latte", the barrista shrieked.
"That's the perfect drink!" I was horrified as she wiped the "Grande Americano" from the "This is your drink" board behind the counter and began to copy my order from where she had scrawled it across the side of my cup.
I knew something needed to be done, and quickly.
I also knew we have our own cappuccino machine at home. Sure, we've worn out a few gaskets so it leaks and it no longer quite heats right, but I'd been given the motivation to attack those issues with the tools at hand (hot glue and a mitre saw, to be specific) to be able to craft our own sugar-free cinnamon dolce lattes at home.
Before beginning the project, I visited to order a bottle (case) of the flavored syrup. My chest tightened as I came to the realization that while a person can order aprons, grounds dumpers, impossible-to-find coffee plumbing parts and Starbucks-branded toilet paper dispensers, the cinnamon dolce syrup is glaringly unavailable.
I tried to not freak out.
I went to my back-up source, DaVinci syrups. They have everything, the Splenda-based stuff is awesome and they are, arguably, the source for all things flavoring-related.
No cinnamon dolce flavoring there, either.
I even looked under the "new" heading, hoping their web guy was just lazy.
How could this be?
I turned to Google and frantically searched.
Google led me to a forum post by a past (or current) Starbucks barrista who claimed to know the secret.
Cinnamon Dolce flavoring is a combination of cinnamon flavoring (a no-brainer and common enough even in grocery stores), brown sugar (slightly harder to find in liquid sugar-free form, but not impossible) and butter flavoring. Butter is impossible. It doesn't exist as a syrup (because, like, gross) and real butter would congeal and/or rot in the bottle.
Someone on another message board suggested replacing butter flavoring with caramel, but also suggested that this was "not the same".
I've called attention before to Starbuxitol, the secret, highly-addictive non-nutritive additive Starbucks adds to their drinks.
Cinnamon Dolce syrup is that substance, made bold enough to leave out in plain view.
I know I have to solve this riddle, and I know I can do it using DaVinci syrup.
The answer to this mystery, this secret, this "DaVinci Code" is the only thing that can free me, free all of us.

2 comments: said...

Oh my god, I couldn't agree more! I too discovered sugar free cinnamon dolce syrup and have been fervently searching with absolutely no end in sight.

If you find something, please post. I swear my husband will die if I buy anymore of these addictive blends;)

Anonymous said...

The information here is great. I will invite my friends here.