Monday, March 26, 2007

One of my co-workers just made the switch to a MacBook Pro. You can see my thinly-veiled jealousy in this IM exchange as he impatiently waits for his machine to be delivered:

(co-worker’s name deleted): it doesn’t say they have shipped my laptop yet
(co-worker’s name deleted): Available
(co-worker’s name deleted): this angers us
Garrick: Vista is faster
Oooo! Ooooo! Maybe the shipping software is OSX!!!! ;)
(co-worker’s name deleted): maybe you should stop sucking Bill Gate’s (message cleaned up for publication) long enough to hear how retarded you sound
(co-worker’s name deleted) has taken this chat off the record (from now on, chats with (co-worker’s name deleted) will not be saved in your Gmail account or (co-worker’s name deleted)'s) Learn more Cancel
(co-worker’s name deleted): This chat is no longer off the record
Garrick: Niiiice
I tried to reply, but Vista kept asking me if I really wanted to use such language until I gave up
(co-worker’s name deleted): lol
yeah I thought an over the top reply would be amusing
Garrick: I liked it
(co-worker’s name deleted): Vista doesn’t like you
Garrick: It says it likes me
(co-worker’s name deleted): don’t believe his lies
Garrick: keeps asking me if I want to disbelieve . . . am I sure? . . . Screw it. Vista pwnz.
(co-worker’s name deleted): OS X is best
then xp
then linux
then os/2 warp
then beOS
the nextStep
then Openstep
then DOS
then amiga os
then Vista
Garrick: Windows ME is better than Amiga
other than that, you are right
(co-worker’s name deleted): of course I am
I just checked again
they haven’t shipped it
Garrick: they are trying to right click on "ship" with a one-button Mac mouse
(co-worker’s name deleted): no
I think they are still working through allow prompts on Vista
or they cant reach the button because they only have 800 lines of vertical resolution
Garrick is typing...
Garrick: "Are you sure you want to ship someone a Mac?" "I can help you work more effectively" "You don't need to see your resolution settings, it is already optimized for your screen." "Do you need help creating a shipping label?"
(co-worker’s name deleted): Dude, that’s a damn good impression of the office assistant.
the lil paper clip guy?
Garrick: I love that guy
(co-worker’s name deleted): you would
when was the last time you right clicked on anything to execute
you right click for the context menu
Garrick: "Windows Vista can help you do more with 'Right Click'"
(co-worker’s name deleted): Windows Vista "You are trying to right click, do you wish to cancel or allow."
Garrick: OSX = "The proper key sequence is "
Clover key? WTF?
(co-worker’s name deleted): "Windows Vista, Speed, Agility, Confidence. Sorry guys, those features had to be cut from Vista to make our release date. But dont worry for we give you the crowning achievement of 5 years, WINDOWS DEFENDER!
I think Vista has been in development longer than OSX has been around yet all they managed to do was copy it.
Garrick: Windows Defender is awesome. Sometimes my IMs get ganked ... want to buy v1agra c@nadian ph@rmac13s??
Other than that, it works
(co-worker’s name deleted): yeah
it totally blocked internet explorer
"helping you do more"
Garrick: So it installs Firefox, too?
(co-worker’s name deleted): seriously, it blocked IE
I wanted to get in there and strangle it
Garrick: Defender?
(co-worker’s name deleted): yes
Garrick: Weird
(co-worker’s name deleted): its cool though
I am getting something better than windows defender
It is called OS X
and it (message cleaned up for publication) kicks your (message cleaned up for publication)
Garrick: the OS no one wants to hack
because even pwnt you can't right click
(co-worker’s name deleted): you can
attach a two button mouse
Garrick: SRSLY
(co-worker’s name deleted): or tap with three fingers
besides who uses that button anyway
Garrick: You can attach a decent browser and spyware software to Vista
(co-worker’s name deleted): touch pad masters don’t
Garrick: I love right clicking
Sometimes I just right click random stuff to see what happens
Sent at 2:16 PM on Wednesday

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