Pr3++yG33kyTh1ng

Sometimes it looks like everyone wants to keep me from sending text messages.
Our internet filter killed all instant messenger programs. Fortunately, Google has provided the code for Google Talk. I've placed it in the column on the right, and I'm able to use it that way.
Anyone else is welcome to use that interface for avoiding their own workplace firewall issues, but it is there for purely selfish reasons.
My first and last name with no spaces or dots or junk @gmail.com should let anyone who hasn't already done so add me to their contacts, which would be beyond awesome.
In other news, tonight is another big damn Data Center Maintenance evening, which translates to no sleep for me and a jacked up sleep schedule through (on average) Wednesday of next week.
I plan to draw energy through coffee the way Kal-El draws it from the rays of our yellow sun.
I will upgrade and reboot stuff faster than a speeding data packet. I will draw more power than a clustered server. I'll be able to bypass the corporate firewall in a single hop.
I'll wear my underwear outside my pants, and my Adobe ePaper Solutions "paperless office" golf shirt to show how much I miss the glorious paper-free society lost when my home planet destroyed itself after some sleep-deprived I.T. guy rebooted the wrong print server.
I need no sleep. I have transcended rest. Caffeine and a spinning desk chair with lumbar support work every bit as well as eight hours of sleep, but the industrial medical complex doesn't want us to know that.
Why would they cover that up? Are they just trying to hurt the sales of Diet Mountain Dew? Are they in bed with the mattress companies? Are they jealous because their exam room stools are spinny but backless?
Probably.
At this time I'm willing to lump the entire medical field into every possible conspiracy theory I can find.
For instance, it is a little known fact that the first people to see JFK after he was rushed to the hospital from Dealy Plaza were all in the medical field. That gets glossed over in the documentaries and even Wikipedia, but it is the truth.
Also, there were doctors working in and around Roswell during the "incident" with the "weather balloon".
Furthermore, right here in Houston, there were doctors working just a few miles from the Enron corporate offices both before and during the implosion of that company. One even treated Jeff Skilling for a rash he picked up on a business trip.
These are just data points. Arrange them on your paranoia spreadsheet however you like.

Am I the only one with a paranoia spreadsheet?