Pr3++yG33kyTh1ng

This post is going in early because I'll be away from my computer all morning on Tuesday attending a workshop.
I don't want to brag, but the workshop is at the hotel connected to the world famous Galleria mall and consumer distraction complex.
That's right, a person can't stand at one Starbucks at the Galleria and spit coffee in any direction without hitting people in line at another Starbucks. Believe me. I've tried it.
And I'll try it again.
This isn't the kind of workshop where manly guys make things out of metal or wood or condiment packets, though.
Nope.
This is the kind of workshop where manly guys (and manly women, I suppose) will stand around and talk about software.
Hide your jealousy all you want, I see right through that facade of indifference.
There is no shame in begrudging me the free cookies (I can't eat) and free cola (with no freaking reward points) and free coffee (I'm too snooty to drink). After all, I'll be hanging out all morning, listening to some sales guy tell me about something I already know about and have no authority to sign off on.
Maybe I'll finally get that free shirt I've been bugging the company about for seven years. I suppose I could buy one, but then it wouldn't be free, would it?
At any rate, I'll get to return to my employment roots during this time.
I'll look on those roots and recall where it all began.
A humble cookie store was the beginning of the ascension to the geek you see before you. A cookie store full of chemically altered teenagers very much like the modern cookie stores of today.

"Snickerdoodle?" teenaged me would inquire, "Wow. I completely thought you were a guy until you ordered a snickerdoodle."

"I only busted this chocolate chip cookie up so that I could make sure it had the proper amount of chocolate chips in it. Those of us in 'the business' call that Quality Control."

"Heheh. No, seriously. The lemon bars are fine. Heheheh. Why? What have you heard?"

"I'm sure we'd all like a large banana, sir, but what flavor of smoothie would you like?"

Yeah. My history of working with users is decades old.