Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Various Realities

So we watched the debate and discussed and cursed and ranted right there in the living room.
I also stayed logged in to World of Warcraft to discuss the debate with my friends right there in real time.
Since I was playing the debate drinking game discussed yesterday, I began to slur my typing.
Of course, regardless of political affiliation, there was plenty to be upset about last night.
Some people are upset about health care. Some are upset about 700 billion dollars we are paying out to help some rich people who made poor decisions. Some people are upset about the use of the term "that one" to refer to a human being.
I'm a little stunned there isn't more outrage about my own personal political hot button topic.
Neither candidate addressed it, so I feel obligated to do so here.
Finland.
I've done some research into this matter.
Are you aware that these people don't even speak English?
From what I can determine, as a people, they sit over there just being foreign all day.
What are we going to do about it?
We can't just let them do that. I mean, letting Finland get away with that (and they have been for years) is a very slippery slope.
If we just let them, are we next supposed to let people from Portugal speak that weird gibberish language?
And what about England? They have the nerve to call their speech English when clearly our definitions of "fag" and "rubber" are at odds.
I suppose we are just to ignore France altogether, but that doesn't bother me because it is in line with my personal policies on that matter.
But Finland?
Finland can not be ignored.
They will not go away.
They are not some harmless Irish people. This is not Amsterdam.
A quick glance at the ever-accurate Wikipedia gives us these chilling statistics:

We can talk all about how Russia is right next to Alaska and everything, but according to these statistics, Finland kicked Russia's ass back when Russia still had a massive and cohesive military.
We may have Alaskan eyes on the Russians, but who is watching Finland?
When 30 tanks can destroy over 2,000 tanks, we are looking at a real-life zergling rush situation.
Anyone who has ever lost a Starcraft match to an eleven-year-old South Korean kid can attest to the feeling of terror.
Hey!
What are we doing about South Korea?

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