Friday, October 10, 2008

Worse Than Ever

Yom Kippur was yesterday. Since it is our Day of Atonement, we fast.
What this also means is that once I year I get to see what my body does without the Diet Coke which normally sustains it.
For the record, not much.
My eyes start to feel like I'm blinking through powder and I begin to develop aches radiating down from my head and out from my spine.
My motor control begins to lapse -- I twitch and spasm. Attempting to walk leaves me unknowingly crawling instead. My tongue swells and my thoughts scatter. Simple tasks become exercises in frustration where a capped ink pen becomes something I attempt to smash open.
After the first hour it gets even worse.
A friend noticed me on the floor at one point and gave me one of those looks an addict gets, like in the David Hasselhoff movie where he's drunk and unable to pick up his cheeseburger.
"To be fair, I've never seen anyone drink as much Diet Coke as you," he shook his head.
Sadly, it seems that a steady supply of cola has become necessary for my productivity and usefulness to society.
Even with cola both of those things are limited at best.
But I'm getting better. Because today I have caffeine.
Also, as an update, I've managed to input 9,299 Coke Reward Points.
To put this in perspective, I got a PlayStation 2 for 850 points.
I've also stayed ahead of the 10-codes-per-day limit to maintain quite a stash of caps.

At work, I'm still wading through a complicated mass of government security requirements while balancing them against the need for the applications to actually run.
And users whine about everything.
You'd think after any period of time spent working in secure systems they would just be used to logging in with a password.
Or clicking "Ok".
It says "Ok", and you can click it. Why would anyone place a call about that?

"Your glowing spirit box confuses me! There are messages from the ancestors in there! What means this "Ok" warning? Is it a prophecy?"*

Just click it. I can spend nine hours trying to trick the computer into suppressing it or you can spend half a second just clicking the damned thing.

* I think the user said something like that. To be honest, I mostly tune them out into a kind of blah blah blah humming sound.

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