Friday, January 30, 2009

I Found Out Where I Work

As I've mentioned before, I work in a newly created department. This gave me the opportunity to create my own title independent from managerial oversight. The result is that my cubicle is clearly marked "Dark Lord of Citrix - Master of Policies both Corporeal and Necromantic".
And for months, that has worked just fine.
When I was hired, I was given a number of different accounts which were all associated with my name for various different systems.
I have a regular account and an administrative account with extra rights. I also have an account in the training system and an account on the mainframe which trumps everything.
What I had never known is that that mainframe account is linked with my job description as officially documented by payroll.
And what I also didn't know, until it was brought to my attention by a co-worker Thursday morning, is that I don't actually work in the department I've been working in.
I do not work in "Technical Services", as I had come to believe.
I work in "Tactical Services".
This is not a typo, since the other security guy was hired months after I was and has the same description.
You may be thinking exactly what I was thinking when I heard I was assigned to "Tactical Services":
"What the hell does that even mean?"
I can answer that with a resounding, "I have no idea".
I do know that it sounds completely awesome, almost as if my job were blended with that of ninjas or some highly trained special forces squad. Or maybe both.
I also know that apparently I haven't been kicking anywhere near enough ass, day-to-day, to merit belonging to an organization called "Tactical Services".
I spent the afternoon answering the phone "Tactical Services, we never had this conversation."
I also told a manager that if we didn't stop getting reports of issues from Michigan users I was going to let them know that "Tactical Services is about to go Proactive on their asses."
This went over better than you might expect, probably because no one sends Tactical Services to visit HR. Tactical Services doesn't roll that way.

In exciting other news, I'm staying up until midnight on Saturday to shave/scrub this scraggly crap off my face to mark the end of Manuary.
I would take a picture to share, but Shana's 10 megapixel Canon doesn't pick up enough fine detail to really capture the hair on my face.

Agent G
Tactical Services

"And womp rat might taste like pumpkin pie, but
I'll never know, 'cause I'll never eat the dirty mother*&!%#." - Mace Windu

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