Monday, January 05, 2009

In Which I Issue A Call To (In)action

Are you at work?
If you are, grab the URL for this post and email it to your personal address and take care of the associated action items from home.
However, Manuary rolls ever onward. For the record, I have not shaved. Seriously. If you use the correct light (something directional) at the perfect angle, it kind of looks like I may not have shaved. If you kind of let your eyes go out of focus.
On Friday, I enjoyed a fully wing-based diet followed by warm gin with a human hair in it.
On Saturday, I visited a hardware store with the goal of purchasing a tack hammer and tacks. I did not find them, got bored, then wandered off, but I demand (in a manly way) points for my effort.
Wait! The point!
In the picture above, you can see my friends Andrew and Pam. Pam is dressed as an Orion Slave Girl. This equals some pretty major geek points according to every scale of such matters I can Google.
What it doesn't picture is that we played old-school pencil-and-paper D&D in college back in the day and Pam's character actually earned the title "the Nasty". Titles don't just happen, people. And throughout the game world n00bs grew to fear the approach of Dammit Gump the Nasty. As well they should. The n00bs!
As geeks, we stick together. These instincts are honed in middle school locker rooms across this great nation, but even those geeks who attended a science-based magnet school have the impulse hard-coded into their very DNA.
Thymine links to Cytosine links to Adenine -- Which links to supporting Pam as she attempts to move among the non-nerdy.
She'll come back to us. Don't worry.
Pam is just going to spend a little while pwning n00bs in the real world so she can come back to toss some dice with us and tell us stories about her grand adventures with the normals.
What the hell is Pam doing?
Pam has been nominated as Miss Viva Las Vegas 2009, so she is going to win it.
How can we help?
We can go here and vote online. Look for Pam under her stage name "Red Snapper". She is the one wearing green feathers. You will be asked to enter an email address. I've done it and have gotten no unexpected spam. Also, my PayPal account is still as empty as ever so I'm pretty sure it is totally safe. Do it!
In fact, I never got a confirmation email at all, so feel free to use whatever email address you like.
You know, now that I think about it, just voting once with no confirmation is kind of leaving a lot to chance. What if your vote gets lost? What if some packet gets twisted out there in the wilds of the interwebz and never gets cast? This poor, lost little packet reminds me in some way of Pam's burlesque rendition of Monty Python's classic (don't click the link at work) "Every Sperm is Sacred", which is possibly (and hopefully) the only video on the internet which includes Sperm Puppets.

EDIT: There may be a click confirmation email. So sign up for some extra email addresses and go nuts.

Do you require more information before casting a vote? Is one (or more) vote(s) really that much to ask?
Fine. Pam and Andrew have a Pulp Fiction inspired number, which is available for viewing (holy crap, only click this at home) here.
There, two videos plus Orion Slave Girl photos showing exactly why you should be bothered to click the link and help Pam ("Red Snapper" or "Dammit Gump the Nasty") achieve her goal of total burlesque world domination.
The other reason, and the one which should resonate with my readers who are geeks or who married geeks, is that Pam is up against some seriously popular Rockabilly Burlesque acts. They are a lot like the kids at the cool table at lunch. Genetically, we have been programmed to hate them. If we can get Pam the votes she deserves, there is no way these other (lesser) acts can go home without having been taken down a notch or two.
A re-notching, ladies and gentlemen. You get to actively (if you consider clicking a link, casting a vote and typing an email address (or a couple of dozen email addresses) an activity) participate in a re-notching festival.
Also, Pam can get back to geeking it up old school once this action item is crossed off her list.
I don't ask a lot from you, internetz. Sometimes I make you gloss over a World of Warcraft post and sometimes I have weird conversations with my own brain. Sometimes I ask you to click somewhere and do something to make the world a little safer for geeks to move around outside of data centers.
This is one of those times.
My face is itchy. I'm going to go exfoliate.
With a belt sander, or something.
Definitely not a scrub made with coconut husk and jojoba.

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