Thursday, September 14, 2006

How does he do it?

I know the question you guys are asking yourselves:

"How does this guy hurl himself into the dank disturbing maw of the underbelly of corporate I.T. day after day after day and still look so marvelous?"

I understand the question. Rest assured, I don't take offense.
Step one is simple: Dress shoes, khaki slacks and a button-down oxford.
Step two is more important: Comparison.

A recent study (admittedly from a company who benefits from Managers deciding they would rather not have their own I.T. staff) has asked what sets geeks apart from the rest of the employees, with special attention to fashion.
Among the top findings are that your average I.T. Geek (a term used with love) is 63% more likely to wear black jeans and 32% less likely to care if their clothes are what we in the business refer to as "conventionally clean". The average male geek is 34% more likely to sport a ponytail and twice as likely to wear a heavy metal t-shirt at some point (possibly several days in a row, apparently). Megadeth does indeed, still rule.

The other finding is that accessories formerly considered geeky are too mainstream to matter. The cellphone belt clip is everywhere. Except on me. A BlackBerry is not an accessory and let's not call attention to the waistline, if possible. Mine fits in my front pocket, hidden under unpleated khaki when not in use.

I've made no secret of my drooling over the new MacBook Pro. Were it not for the severe impact of a recent income-free month, I'd still be filling my online shopping cart with one every day and longingly logging back off. They run Windows, too!
Ok. Back to fashion.
Some enterprising design expert has analyzed what a Mac dresses like in this post. Based on the commercials, Mac users wear jeans, solid t-shirts and navy hoodies. My weekend outfit is fully Mac compatible up to the Van's, which I plan to upgrade to as soon as possible. I've even been working on my smirk!

In other news, I may have uncovered part of the dark secret at work. I counted six "wash your hands" signs in the men's room. Six! And there is no food service performed here at all!
Now, I'm all in favor of hygiene. My hands may quite possibly be the cleanest part of my body at any given moment. But six signs?
Obviously there was, at some point, hepatitis on site somewhere.
I'm spraying everything with canned air before I touch it. It at least knocks off the weaker germs.


Joe said...

Perhaps "Wash Your Hands" isn't about transmittable diseases. Perhaps it means you should wash your hands to get rid of evidence.

I imagine feeding all the babies into the evil incinerator is quite messy ...

Pamela Moore said...

Dude, it's a men's room. They HAVE to tell guys to wash their hands after handling the snakes. Hell, I think some women's rooms need signs like that above the couches and chaises.

You know, in season one of "Felicity" they said that there was a study that stated that sperm was everywhere, including doorknobs.

That's why there are six signs in the bathroom.

Garrick said...

Thanks, Pam. Now I can never leave my house again.

Anonymous said...

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