Pr3++yG33kyTh1ng

Wednesday started as any good Wednesday should -- with a Citrix printer issue.
I've worked with Citrix (an application designed to share applications across a network) for quite a while. Printing through Citrix is either working right out of the box or broken in horrible undocumented never-before-seen ways. There is little middle ground with Citrix.
Of course, whatever is not printing is always the most important document in the history of the company. Or of any company. Or of printing.
Troubleshooting the issues takes time. Often the technician (today played by me) will have to communicate with an end user to obtain vital data about the printer and the error.
During this process, a manager generally leans over the cube. I assume they are hoping to add enthusiasm and contribute to a solution.
If there is a lot of tension, I like to make some outlandish solution in the hopes of getting a laugh.
Wednesday it was: "It is my second day and I'm already sick of printer issues. How about we just implement a paperless office?"
I thought there silence that followed that statement was a "stunned" variety silence. By the time I noticed the wheels turning it was too late.
"I love that idea!" the manager jumped on it."We can help the environment and save the company money for every 500 page report that gets generated in electronic format!"
He dashed off to create a project plan before I could tell him that printing was working normally again.
Then, disaster struck . . .
We got hit by a nasty network worm all across the workstations and server farm. The bad news? It should have been patched August 9th. The really bad news? It should have been patched August 9th, 2005.
The automated patching mechanism was apparently me logging into every server and running the update from the Microsoft website. That took most of the rest of the day.
Our office manager ordered Jason's Deli for the I.T. group. I thought it was due to everyone working through lunch. It turns out that just happens every Wednesday.
Free lunch Wednesday? Dare I hope for pants-free Friday?
The office manager is . . . nice. She told me during my day one tour that she is 60. If she is 60, I'm 20. She has retina-searing red hair and plastic surgery scars near her ears. But she loves to talk.
Today she strolled over to the server team cube farm and started talking about her limo. Apparently, she owns a Cadillac limousine that was once owned by W.C. Fields. He and Errol Flynn carved their names into the wood over the bar. She said she makes a few thousand dollars some months leasing it out for photos.
Then her eyes glazed over and she said, "Can you just imagine W.C.Fields and Errol Flynn riding around in that car? You know they really knew how to party. Of course, they were drunks and constantly used cocaine. You could buy it in drugstores back then. It was totally legal. Just walk up to the counter and buy cocaine. Oh, if that car could talk!"
Jason's Deli is good, though.