Monday, September 25, 2006

Monday was all about user issues at work. I'd resolve one (usually through routing it back to the Help Desk) and two more would pop-up like some big geeky mythological monster.

Not everything requires a double-click. Some stuff is a single-click. I type that now because I easily said it thirty times today.
No one is less surprised by user issues than me. It isn't like Bruce Willis was dead the entire time.
At one point I wrote up a quick draft of a simple, 100% effective method of solving all user issues. I'll share:

1. Connect to the user's local computer
2. Drop 2.5 gigs of stolen MP3s onto the hard drive (takes about 4 minutes over the gigabit connection)
3. Conduct a "random" scan of some "assorted" network segments
4. Let HR handle the user issue from that point on

This will gradually eliminate future calls to the support number and allow the I.T. staff to take progressively longer coffee breaks which, in turn, will allow the magic of caffeine to increase our productivity over time.

There is an additional step:

6. Profit

Step 5 is sadly still under development. :(

Monday night I sat down in front of the PS2 and killed some vampires. Gwynyth let me know they were doing a better job than I was and she wouldn't listen to my complaints of not knowing my sword button from my health potion.

And I thought about the impending PS3.

As described, it is an amazing piece of work. I've done some math and some research.

It seems the new chips aren't being produced quickly enough, which causes delays while driving up the cost. It is also rumored that the new chips won't run the old games, which has causes Sony to add the inner workings of the PS2 to the PS3 to solve compatibility issues. The Blu-Ray DVD adds $200 to the cost of the materials. All told, these consoles will sell for $599 but cost almost $1000 to produce. This does not include marketing. Additionally, the games will cost $10 more per title than the exact same games on the X-Box 360 and the Nintendo Wii. Sony claims the price increase is due to the extra features but it is a thinly veiled attempt to recoup some of the losses as quickly as possible.

If Sony finds the anticipated 6,000,000 people to buy a PS3 between November and April, they will lose $2.4 billion dollars to do it.
Historically, Sony was owned by Japanese families who culturally understand that long-term profits are admirable. However, since the release of the PS2 Sony has been merged with Columbia and is now over 50% "pwn3d" by Americans with our world-renowned impatience.
The market for Trinitrons and Walkmans is fading alarmingly quickly and movie revenues for the film division are also taking a hit like everything else in Hollywood.
Selling off the film division costs them Spider-man and the subsequent video game sales, adding to the downward spiral when video game sales may be the most profitable division in the whole corporation.

So what do American investors do in a situation like that? Work harder to produce a better product? Start a grass-roots campaign to drive sales and save face?
No. We sell. As quickly as possible.

And so what buyer has both the money to buy Sony and the desire to expand into the home entertainment and portable music business?


For some time they have been producing TV related products like the Media Center PC and the newly advertised Zune media player is aggressive and in direct competition with Apple.

Could the hot gift next holiday season be the Playstation 360?

Again, it isn't like Bruce Willis was dead the entire time.


Darrell Davis said...

Holy Freaking Crap! Does Bill just like the word Monopoly! Are you serious... Bill was dead?

Garrick said...

Monopoly? In the same country that fully endorses Daimler/Chrysler?

Bill may have been replaced earlier this year by a USB-powered robot but I'm still researching.

The robot may have been developed in a joint laboratory run by Sony and Honda Motors. Expect "right-click to start" as a standard feature on the new Civic hybrids.

Darrell Davis said...

I also bow to your binary skills!
I had to be put in my place o great one! Thank you for the bitch slap, master!