Pr3++yG33kyTh1ng

So anyway, this morning I got an email (addressed to everyone in the company) that calls me out for not turning in a couple of reports I had due last week.
The email fails to mention that the schedule these reports are due on is based on tidal cycles and the phase of the moon, as well as a random date generator based on the season and the whims of the cheese gods (a legitimate religion, if that's what you are into).
It also fails to mention that the only way to find out if the reports are due in any given week is to access a manager's home directory (using legitimate permissions, social engineering or zero-day exploits) to read a constantly changing spreadsheet that tracks these things.
That's all just fine. Those are the rules as established by management. It is not my place to improve them, or even to care. I looked it up.
What bothers me most about this email is that I did send in those reports last week. Both of them. At a total of over 300 pages, neatly PDF'd, spell-checked and foot noted.
So why would I even jump through the insane amount of hoops built upstairs by crazy people? If one three line email to the company can effectively undo my work, why would I bother doing it?
Now, it is possible the email was sent because my bonus structure may or may not be tied to these reports. If I didn't do them, the company saved money in the exact amount of my (to date theoretical) bonus.
Then again maybe he never got the reports. I copied the other people in his group when I emailed them. I also sent him a link to where I had put other copies on the network for easy access outside of my email. Since he never responded, maybe neither email was delivered.
Note: there is nothing lodged in the outbound mail queue. But maybe it is so lodged it is invisible.
Most likely the issue is that the guy is an asshat.
As a result, plans for today include violent responses to emails and locking accounts in quantities that can only be described as "biblical".
After that, it looks like a co-worker has stashed 7+ gigs of electronic comic books on the network drive which need to be burned to CD and "archived" at my place. I may check them for quality today. A lot.