Wednesday, January 17, 2007

What is the life expectancy for a New Year's resolution?
My primary resolution was downgraded to "guideline" yesterday, with a projected forecast of "best effort" followed by a strong front of "whatever".
You see, I'd resolved to hate less on the users.
I know. That is a ridiculous and unattainable resolution on the order of "I'm going to win the lottery this year", but I had high hopes.
It isn't like I ever had any real control over that, anyway. My hatred is externally generated. Otherwise some enterprising government-type would have long ago quietly shuffled me off to a lab for "observation", only to later plug my hatred into the power grid somewhere to eventually get us all over our addiction to fossil fuels.
Of course, this also works under the assumption that there is such a thing as an "enterprising government type". I can see them now, cavorting through nature with the loch ness monster, a unicorn, three yeti, a chupacabra and a platypus.
I know the discovery channel claims to have footage of the last one, but until I've personally handled one, I refuse to believe in them.
Like a user who isn't completely all about just inventing problems for I.T., there is no such animal.
Here is a summary of the request that flushed away my resolution:

We have some very expensive and well-put-together print servers to handle all of the user's hard copy needs. There are, in fact, several multi-function printers on every floor, all available on the network.
One user, when trying to print to the printer plugged directly into her desktop computer instead of through those print servers, sometimes gets print outs the wrong size. Either the whole page is printed the size of a postage stamp or the heading is spanned across thirty pages.
That's bad, I'll admit.
But why won't she print to the network printer? It is too far.
Seriously. It is twelve (I counted) regular shuffling steps to the printer that works correctly 100% of the time.
So, my team and I need to troubleshoot an intermittent issue on unsupported hardware because someone doesn't want to get up, or even just wheel her desk chair over there to pick up a print out.
See? My hatred is not internally created! I have proof!

I still have other resolutions to worry about, now that the primary resolution is dead to me.
For example, I've resolved to gather and spend more Coke Reward Points than last year.
They have, as predicted, added new stuff. They have also jacked up the prices substantially.
In order to get a new digital camera for Shana, I need 6,999 points. That breaks down to almost 1,000 points per megapixel. You may recall I got a PlayStation 2 for 850 points.
As I type this, I have 1,511 points.
If you drink Coke, Coke Zero or Diet Coke in 20oz or 12-pack form and aren't planning on spending points yourself, I need them. Badly.
Seriously. My recent lower back pain is not related to my patented geek slouch -- my kidneys are eating themselves.

2 comments:

Shana said...

I HAVE a camera or two. I thought you were punishing your body for a new mp3 player for yourself.

Either way, you have a long way to go, mister.

Green warrior needs MP3 player badly. Donate coke reward points! Must...drink....soda....

Joe said...

Luckily, CokeRewards is offering an adult-sized kidney for only 6,850 points.