Even More Stuff To Orient Me

 

This picture was taken on my old lady phone from the doorway of the new-hire training area. If there were windows in the classroom I would have had an excuse to zone out during the "Org Chart" lecture instead of just doing it because it was so amazingly boring.

I also had a chance to drive through the subdivision we like to inspect it for signs of gang activity or (even more horrifying) "being a long way from Starbucks". It showed no signs of either, oddly enough, though I intend to drive through tomorrow when there is more light to double check.

New Hire Orientation is a weird kind of pseudo-work. It isn't like anyone actually expects productivity, but at the same time it is the first opportunity to establish a reputation in a group of people who (in a company with 13,000 employees) I will probably never see again.

There were two times when we had to introduce ourselves. The first I ended up rambling about how much I missed my family and how much the housing market sucks and how I hope to see my daughter again before she enters college. "Go, Gamecocks!"

The second included the special instructions, "Tell us something which would surprise us."

Hmmmmm. How wrong could that go?

"Due to a luggage miscalculation, I'm not wearing underwear."?

"Over 50% of the crates to move in our garage are filled with toys, and of those 10% are my daughters."?

"I hate meetings so much that I stab myself in the palm with a pen to stay awake and I refer to the wounds as 'Corporate Stigmata'."?

In the end I settled on, "I was only able to bring with me what I could fit into a two-door car and I chose to bring a bag of funny-shaped dice for Dungeons and Dragons. Just in case."

Day 2. That's how I roll.

This, unfortunately, surprised no one. But I did get invited to a game this weekend.

Nerds.

I've decided to continue my impress-the-hell-out-of-everyone trend by playing a Pixie Bard. With a speech impediment, probably.