Saturday, April 19, 2008

My Own Personal Exodus


My Passover 2008 First Night seder was spent in a tiny hotel room in Columbia, South Carolina. The four glasses of wine requirement was met courtesy of a bottle of Manischewitz I brought with me along with some peanut butter and matzos similarly transported.

The hotel room is tiny and cramped and the internet is not so good, but I still manage to feel a sense of unity with the rest of the Jewish world because I know we are all celebrating the same thing.

It especially helped that my friend Todd worked so hard to get a video chat going so that I could experience e-Passover at their house along with my family who I already miss a physically painful amount.

Anyway, my tolerance for alcohol being what it is, by the second plastic cup of wine I decided to open my hotel room door for Elijah. Last year I expected him to be there when the door was opened, this year in a dingy hotel room I did not expect him so much (though there was a chair open just in case). To be honest, as awesome as a visit with Elijah would be, I would probably personally prefer a visit with Elisha, his successor.

In learned rabbinical circles Elisha is considered Luke Skywalker to Elijah's Obi-Wan Kenobi.

My favorite almost-as-good-as-force-lightning story is about how some punk kids made fun of Elisha's receding hairline, so Elisha prayed and had bears come out of the woods to devour them.

The world would be a better place if we all handled stress in this way, especially when children are involved.

The behavioral impact of prayer in school is, perhaps, debatable. However, the effect of bears in school is tangible.

"Didn't do your homework? Talk to the bear." "Smoking behind the gym? Bear time for you, Mister." "Nice baggy pants, punk. I'm sure the bear will enjoy that choice." 

Anyway, my personal exodus was aided by GPS, so it was like cheating.

Also, I packed, which was also like cheating.

14 hours is not 40 years, but I need a nap either way.

Goodnight from the Eastern Time Zone, everyone, and Happy Passover.

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