Monday, July 03, 2006

Happy (almost) Birthday, America!
This next bit is not intended to be an accurate depiction of historical events. While I was a decent student of history, that was a long time ago. All that is left is fragmented memories and my own (possibly skewed) perceptions. This article is entirely based on those.

I think July 4th is a good thing to celebrate. The date the document (and it is an awesome document) was ratified is certainly important.
It should be noted, that while the Declaration of Independence (full text) was ratified on the 4th, independence was declared on the 2nd.
The First Continental Congress met in Pennsylvania to discuss just how crappy the British were and how it would be awesome if people in America could stop sending them money for no good reason. It should be noted that the First Continental Congress were not elected, but kind of latched onto each other after a long night at an Espresso bar or maybe Ye Olde Denny's.
"Hey! Let's be a Congress!"
"t3h br1+1$h R L4M3!"
So they piled into the State House and by quick show of hands declared independence. Go, Team America!
Only, they had no document proving or recording this. There was no email to send to England with a request for a Read Receipt.
They had a rough draft of something, maybe. But there were misspellings and cross-outs and notes in the margin and a ring left by a tea cup near the middle obscuring the part where women should be allowed to vote.
It needed to be cleaned up and re-worked and written by someone with decent handwriting.
So July 3rd is the day of the first American all-nighter. I picture it a little like sales guys working on a Power Point presentation when they know nothing about the client and the intended audience really just want to keep their farms. About three in the morning they get goofy, but you have to consider that sales guys start drinking at 11am.
I also remember they worked with the windows closed in the heat of summer because they were concerned about British spies listening from outside.
Leave it to British spies to be too polite to come inside uninvited. This, by the way, is number four on my list of ten ways the British are like vampires.
Sometimes it is too hot for me to go to the beach, I know I'd have issue sweating and working on some Power Point presentation. That alone says a lot to me about the dedication of these men who took it upon themselves to declare war with the world's most powerful nation on behalf of the rest of us.
I know, traditionally, we light stuff on fire on the 4th of July. I think it is important to remember that the real work was done on the 3rd, when some sleep-deprived, sweaty, non-conformists articulated the reasons for a rebellion in simple facts to persuade people unlikely to otherwise join the fight.
It should also be noted that it wasn't signed by most until almost a month later, proving that most deadlines are excessively short and probably only thinly veiled attempts at office politics power plays.

1 comment:

Pamela Moore said...

Well put, good sir. We should all burn something this year in remembrance of the smell our forefathers must've endured in that closed-room, drunken and sweaty allnighter that led to our becoming the most kickass country on the planet. Fire = w00+