Pr3++yG33kyTh1ng

Casual Jeans Friday!
In addition to celebrating with denim, I get to deliver wonderful news!
In the past I've been burdened by consuming fluids which serve no purpose:
Water to brush my teeth? No caffeine.
Tofu bar only serves organic "tea" made from hemp? No caffeine.
My coffee has caffeine, but what about the half-and-half in the coffee? No caffeine.
I've come to fear the day when a combination of these events will occur, resulting in the perfect storm of me passed out somewhere until the authorities arrive with some expensive non-over-the-counter stimulant.
I can erase that caffeine withdrawal coma from my list of paralyzing fears (Which has been updated, for anyone keeping score at home, to: 1. Clowns, 2. Spiders, 3. Haircuts, 4. The DVD release of Bosom Buddies: Season 2 will be delayed again. ) with a simple bottle of this stuff, worn on a lanyard around my neck at all times.
It says keep away from children! This stuff is perfect for me because I love keeping away from children. They advise that no one drink it straight! It can be added to milk! Caffeine -- In liquid form to add to anything and everything!
I can use it with vinegar and cayenne to make caffeinated hot wings, people.
"What's in the queso? Oh, some cheese, a few peppers . . . and pure, liquid caffeine!"
This + Duncan Hines = caffeinated brownies.
You know, my addiction to sleep could be totally cured by this breakthrough.
To be honest, I've started to become a little freaked out by that whole sleep situation. One minute I'm reading a zombie novel in bed, then I close the book and pass out for hours. I'd see a doctor about it, but I've been managing this illness with an alarm clock (two actually) and I can't figure out what kind of doctor to call.
Those days could be all be behind me at last. With a steady supply of PURECAF, think of all the work I could get done! Hell, I could blog three or four times a day!
The Alliance would eventually give up on ever entering Alterac Valley (and rightly so)!
I could finally get our MP3 collection alphabetized by mood, as I'd long planned.
I could take up a hobby! Like selling hand-carved wooden unicorns on the internet!
I could learn to carve wood into the shape of unicorns!
Yes, the creation of liquid caffeine in consumer format was step #4,366 in my master plan for world domination. Everything is falling into place.