Pr3++yG33kyTh1ng

Last night was National Night Out and our neighborhood met in a driveway less than a block from our place. It was good to visit with people who have lived in the neighborhood as long as we have, especially if we've never seen them before ever.
We got to exchange stories of mysterious police activity and complain about the lawns of those people who didn't show up for the gathering. They never edge, those slackers.
Of course, this wasn't an issue at the house hosting the party.
I'd gone over the evening before to drop off a table and some chairs and the guy who lived there was mowing in anticipation.
I've been disturbed by the image of that lawn mowing event for over 48 hours now and I can't shake it. I've tried to Google what I saw and while I've gotten some information I haven't yet found a compelling reason why.
Back in the day, I mowed. I've employed the same technique since childhood -- mow around the edge and then use compressing, rounded squares until I need to loop around trees.
The guy who hosted National Night Out mowed his lawn on a diagonal.
It wasn't like semi-random, just-run-from-corner-to-corner diagonal, either. There was a precision in the diagonal lines which bordered on the surgical. There were exactly four inches of overlap in each pass and I'd suspect that a protractor placed anywhere on the sidewalk would have shown the razor-straight lines were each precisely 45°.
So I'm stuck somewhere between admiration for an admittedly nice looking lawn and what seems to me like a perfectly logical fear of a neighbor who obviously has some type of yard-related compulsion.
I get the idea that he sometimes wakes up from a deep sleep to rush out front with a flashlight and a survival knife to look for any section which has grown at a rate which surpasses the rest of the lawn. And then, that section is punished or the slower-growing section is called out for its laziness.
He seems nice, though. Anyone who just showed up last night and didn't see the mowing the day before probably just thought it looked lovely. And it did to anyone unaware of the unnatural methodology employed in attaining the look.
I think it is possible to know too much about the people we live around. As a general rule, I like to stop learning before the names but right after the mental check box which is labelled "Lives in the House with the Near-Constant Police Tape Border -- Yes__ No__ Sometimes__".
Anyway, I've decided to leave people to their bizarre compulsions. While it is a near-certain sign of some deeper psychosis, I just have to have faith that the door locks will hold.

Bogflare Needlers Killed: 270
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